heartbeats*

Dearest January,

2012-01-29T23:58:00.000-08:00

I had a real blast last year. I had the best of year 2011. I received countless blessings. I fulfilled a lot of dreams. Many opportunities came my way.

I welcomed 2012 with a thankful heart. I vowed to celebrate life every day. I committed myself that I will be brave to embrace the graces and opportunities God will give me.

I have great plans for 2012. My travels. My RDL retreat. My crazy 20 of 12. My career endeavors. And more. I am ready for life.

But I guess life is more ready for me.

Prayers of my prayer warriors had been heard. I received a gift that I never expected, planned or desired. With fears I welcomed the opportunity to open the door to something that is unfamiliar, unknown and definitely I cannot rationalize.
True, as I welcome this chance, I am going out of my comfort zone. I am opening the possibility to either change or re-affirm my previous decisions. I am allowing myself to detach from my subjective inclinations and biases.

I am reconsidering my choices. I am searching for answers. I am looking for meaning.

I have my fears, my doubts, my discomfort to the ambiguity of things, my questions to the possibilities. I cried many times because of this. All of them are tears of surrender. I am not giving up, but I am submitting myself to fully discern about this matter.

To be honest, my heart is happy I am enjoying every step in this journey to discovery. Each unfolding moment brings joy that I can’t name nor measure. Side by side with happiness and joy, I face each day with difficulty, I have to unlearn many things, I have to let go of some old ways. I have to die to my old self, and give birth to a new.

About this matter, I don’t have game plans, no theoretical framework, no experiments, no expectations.

Only prayers.

And one genuine desire to go through this discernment journey.

I am taking my time, basking in the grace of the moment, relishing in the here and now, where my God wants me to be.

As I said goodbye to you to welcome February, I thank you for the surprises. With you, this year already made its mark to be unforgettable.

Sincerely,

Heartbeats

20 of 12

2012-01-05T19:18:00.000-08:00

Here is how I would like to spend my 2012
They are additional items to my bucket list, my crazy 20 of 12

1. Participate in 12 running events. I'm planning to accomplish a full marathon (42km). I also want to run for a cause, given the opportunity. I will wear my personalized bib (RUNNING HAPPY. LIVING FREE. LOVING MORE.), every time.
2. Attend 12 weddings. Among my friends and relatives it will be impossible to reach that number (not many of them will get married by 2012) So I'm planning to gate crash if necessary to complete the target hahaha!
3. Celebrate 12 birthdays. I will celebrate birthdays of other people in special way with birthday cake, birthday cap and banners.
4. Collect 12 Starbucks tumblers. I'll be happy to have a dozen more, an addition to my collection (sb tumbler gifts are still accepted).
5. Treat 12 special people I would love to share special moments with special people (places and persons are of my choice).
6. No carbo-day for 12 days in one year Once a month voluntary hunger strike! I hope I will be able to sustain and survive!
7. Drink soft drinks for only 12 days in a year. I will consume 1 liter each day, para sulit hahaha!
8. Learn to cook 12 dishes. At lutuin ito ng masarap at sana magustuhan din ng iba.
9. Adventure travel to 12 tourist destinations in the Philippines It will be a back pack adventure travel/s, maximum of Php1,000.00 a day. I will spend lazy and carefree days in the mountains, seas, islands and air (with travel buddies). Indeed IT'S MORE FUN IN THE PHILIPPINES (gandang pilipinas continues!)
10. Read 12 classic novels. I asked a friend to recommend books to read. My target is to finish at least 1 book per month. It will definitely be a good time.
11. Watch 12 classic movies. I still don't have any ideas what movies. Can you recommend some?
12. Eat 12 exotic dishes I want to taste--something nakakaiba, kahit hindi masarap basta walang lason. It will be very challenging!
13. Text 12 persons each day. Super tamad akong magtext but I really would like to do it. I want to give them something to smile about.
14. Be productive at work and in life at least 12 hours every day. I give my best hours at work. I give my best in life.
15.I will place 12 bets in different games/lottery. I hope to win and become rich! I'll start searching for my lucky numbers.
16. I will save 12 pesos each day. At the end of the year, i will spend it. I don't have any idea yet as to what and for whom.
17. Learn and sing 12 songs. Kakanta ako at kakantahan kita. Iduduyan ko ang puso mo sa musika!
18. Pray for 12 persons every day. I will pray for their special intentions. I hope that in my little way I'll be of help in the fulfillment of their hearts' desire.
19. Celebrate 12 moonlights and sunshines. I will embrace life with a brave heart, I will discern, risk and love.
20. Learn, love and live the next 12 months while--running happy, living free, loving more, embracing life and thanking God.

there is only desire that fuels everything--
that is to take each moment, live each time,
journey each step to be closer...
+amdg+

(image is from prlog.org)

High jumps 2011

2012-01-04T18:29:00.000-08:00

I had a great year 2011. My heart is happy and for endless reasons I am truly thankful. Let me site some:

Roadruns. Countless morning jogging, 4 fun runs, 1 national race and 1 international marathon. My biggest achievement was my half marathon (21km). I’m looking forward to finish my first full marathon. Aja! I was also privileged to run with great runners.
Travels.
My Gandang Pilipinas adventure was in full bloom! Sagada adventure. Manila mania. Albay escape. Cavite road trip. Batangas challenge. Sorsogon hike. More places to reach, more adventures to enjoy, more trips to take. Thank you travel buddies and strangers I met along the road.
Starbucks and tea times.
Great stories. Genuine friendship. Real treasure. I am deeply thankful. I got three SB planner this year (spruce)—for myself, running warrior and summer.
The Big Bangs.
New work assignment. Birthdays. Weddings. Family affairs. Parties. Glamour and beauty. Surprises and expectations. Fantasies and realities. They took my breath away and flew me to the moon.
Heart connections.
Witches (happier-stronger @15 years—more kids and warlocks to come!), Foursome (thank you for the prayer sundates, XOXO), SuperB at old friends (im happy to grow old with you), Residents of Pooh -old and new(my heart finds home in you), Reserved Bachelors*(going beyond the distance, Gracias ♥) Thursday people (thank you for the company and everything)and more (for the dosages of love and comfort of presence).
My Moon and my Stars.
Sunshine (I’m happy for your perpetual yes); Summer (Our prayers had been heard, now everything is in place. Thank you for the love). Mr Heart (let us take one step at a time, getting closer and closer, thank you for everything). Angel Gabriel (Thank you for the moonlights). Green Lantern (Thank you for bringing beautiful sparks in my life). Dahil sa inyo abnormal ang tibok ng aking puso. Babadapbadap♥♥♥
My Lovelines.
Beyond distance and changing times your love and support made me see the beauty in simplest thing, the joy in the plainest gesture and the graces in the ordinary. To the moon and back I love too much.
Moontime.
Moments of solitude-- to be silent and listen to the stirrings within. Days of retreat and prayer to look into the greatness in nothingness and emptiness in perfection. To explore, to cry alone, to laugh in silence, to be sorry to be thankful. To be naughty. To dream. To win. To lose. To risk. To live. To Love. To let go. And love again.
My God.
I feel His eyes looking at me. His hands embracing me. His heart loving me. I received many blessings, sacrificed some. I experienced abundance of happiness, endured some pains. For everything that You gave me, All of me is yours.

Cheers to love and life. Well done 2011!
+AMDG+

at 63

2011-11-08T20:28:00.000-08:00

Three years ago, stroke robbed us of the chance to run together at sunrise
but i'll never get tired of walking with you during your morning walks.
You may not be able to travel to different places as you used to be
but i always enjoy the conversations we have about my adventure trips.
Your speech may not be as fluent as before but
i always love listening to your stories and your laughter is a music to my ears.
you may not be as strong as you were in the past
but you're still my superman.

At 63,
with good health,
stress free retirement,
successful children,
happy marriage, and
grateful heart
I believe that you've done a great job
and still living a good life...
i hope in the years to come,
we can give you grand children
and show you through endless opportunities that you are deeply loved.

happy birthday daddy.
i love you across the universe,
and back.

2 months

2011-11-02T22:43:00.000-07:00

2 months without any blog entry
maybe,
i had been hibernating
keeping my thoughts
hiding my feelings
running somewhere
flying out there
so much had happened
many are still happening...

i'm happy,
definitely back
starting a new
ready for everything...

this thought really inspires me--

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot
learn, feel, change, grow or love. Chained by his certitude, he is a slave; he has forfeited his freedom. Only the person who risks is truly free.” ― Leo Buscaglia

heart whisphers

2011-09-06T04:35:00.000-07:00

Heavenly Father,
You love me and you call me every moment of my life.
You have a plan for me,
a plan that will help me grace the world
in the unique way that only I can.
Send your Spirit into my heart and mind.
Enlighten me with your wisdom
that I may come to know today
where you are calling me in life.
Give me the strength today
to answer that call
and inspire others to help me.
I make this prayer
through Christ Our Lord. Amen.

7175

2011-08-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

You can reach me by railway, you can reach me by trail way
You can reach me on an airplane, you can reach me with your mind
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can
You can reach me by sailboat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down the slope, into these arms of mine
You can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can
**There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, then surely you would be closer
I need you closer (interlude, then repeat bridge)
You can windsurf into my life,
take me up on a carpet ride
You can make it in a big balloon,
but you better make it soon
You can reach me by caravan,
cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here,
just- get here if you can
I don't care, I don't care,
I need you right here right now
I need you right here, right now,
right by my side (yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah)
I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can

sa tuwing naririnig ko ang awiting ito, ikaw ang naaalala ko. August din yun di ba? ilang August na rin ang lumipas, pero sa kantang ito ikaw pa rin ang himig ko. sana patuloy kang maging masaya at walang sawang yakapin ang kahulugan ng buhay at tunay na pag-ibig. salamat sa lahat, hayaan mo balang-araw makikita rin tayo.

young l♥ve

2011-07-22T03:36:00.000-07:00

Gaya ng dati, pagtunog ng kampana sa dapit-hapon
ang aking mga yapak ay unti-unting tinatahak ang daang palagian ng binabaybay.
Patungo kung saan umaawit ang kampana, sa Kanyang dambana.
Kaunti ang mga tao sa simbahan, tahimik at taimtim ang mga dasal.
Bago magsimula ang pagdiriwang, nakuha ang aking pansin ng isang batang lalaki
na mag-isang naglakad papasok at umupo sa unahan.
Siguro siya ay mga walong taon gulang at pula ang Tshirt nya (baka birthday).
Habang nagmimisa, nandoon din sya sa isang sulok ng simbahan, nakikilahok sa Sakramentong banal.
Sa aking pag-iisa napangiti ako ng makita ko siyang pumila sa pagkumonyon, may saya sa aking damdamin ang masilayan siyang lumuhod at seryosong nananalangin.
Sa aking pagdarasal aking nabanggit, Panginoon, pakinggan Mo po ang panalangin ng batang ito. Sana sa bawat sandali ng kanyang buhay maramdaman niya ang Iyong pagmamahal at yakapin niya ito ng buo.
Nang matapos ang misa, sinundan ko siya ng tanaw habang palabas ng simbahan.
Inaabanagan ko na lalapit siya sa kanyang nanay o sinuman ang kasama niya, pero humanga ako lalo ng makita ko siyang sumusipul-sipol palabas ng simbahan papunta sa gate, walang kasabay.
Muli kong nabanggit sa king sarili, Lord salamat ha, sa muling pagpapaalala, na ang pagmamahal mo sa akin at ganoon din sa iba. Masaya ako na makita yun ngayon, sa mukha ng isang bata.

hugs

2011-07-13T03:30:00.001-07:00

salamat sa mga mata,
na nag magmulat sa akin sa kagandahan ng mundo.
salamat sa pang-amoy,
na naging daan upang malanghap ang halimuyak ng hangin.
salamat sa pandinig,
na naging tulay upang marinig ang saliw ng musika.
salamat pakiramdam,
na nagpadama sa akin ng tibok ng aking puso.
salamat Panginoon
sa mga biyayang pinagkaloob mo sa akin
at sa paglikha ng aking pag-katao upang maging Sa'yo.

thank you for the everyday miracles and angels
love mo talaga ako Lord,
at love din kita.
*HUGS*
(prayer 07.13.11., 5pm mass, Christ the King Churc, AdNU)

112

2011-07-07T18:33:00.000-07:00

hello sunshine...
hindi mo lang (siguro) alam
kung gaano mo ako napapasaya
sa mga simpleng bagay
sa ordinaryong pag-uusap
sa nakasanayang ugnayan
tuwa talaga ang dulot mo sa akin
pati kilig na rin
kaya ang puso ko nakangiti
at tila may kakaibang kiliti
ang humahaplos sa aking damdamin
sa tuwing iisipin ko na ika'y nariyan
salamat ha...
(hanggang sa muli ha ♥♥♥)
toinks!

exempted

2011-06-27T02:36:00.000-07:00

ang qualifications, standards at ideals
ay para lang sa taong
'di mo gusto, ayaw gustuhin at disqualified
kasi pag nag love ka
'di na yun applicable
kasi yung taong mahal mo
siya yung exempted at may immunity
sa standards, ideals at qualifications...

006

2011-06-24T03:33:00.000-07:00

(message alert tone)
another rainy day.
how are you.
keep dry.
be safe.
take care.
i miss you.

weeeh...
don't worry i'm okey here.
para ring binabagyo ang puso ko
sa kilig dahil sa text mo
thank you

another sunday's best

2011-06-21T20:02:00.000-07:00

(late post)
among all the great blessings
God allowed me to have
you are one the greatest...

i am deeply loved and
my life is happy
because
you are my daddy...

happy father's dad
♥♥♥

green

2011-06-17T00:34:00.000-07:00

tapos na ang summer, nandito na ang tag-ulan.
kulay berde na ang paligid
hay...
naaalala kita
kumusta ka na kaya?
tagal na nating 'di nagkikita
'di na mabilang na dapit-hapon
ganun din na bukang-liwayway...
kelan kaya tayo muling magkakatagpo?
pangarap na--
masilayan ang iyong mukha
masabayan ang iyong mga tawa
makasalo sa hapag-kainan
makakwentuhan ng walang katapusan
malasing ng sabay
maglaitan ng walang sawa
damayan sa iyakan
kasabay magsimba
mangarap sa ilalim ng buwan
hay…
ilang taon na ba?
gaano katagal pa kaya?

Kay ganda ng buwan ngayong gabi
Sana napagmamasdan mo rin...
Sabi ko nga sa buwan--
Ngitian ka ng buong tamis at ibulong sa’yo
“miss na kita green lantern”
♥♥♥

5pm

2011-06-14T17:56:00.000-07:00

Sa paglubog ng araw sa dapit-hapon
hayaan ang mga yapak tumungo sa isang sulok ng mundo
upang magnilay at magdasal
sa katahimikan, damhin ang pagmamahal...

Sa malaking silid dasalan
sa hanay ng mga upuan
kagaya ng mga nakaraang araw--
ikaw ay naroon
nag-iisa sa gitna ng karamihan...

Pinagmamasdan kita
habang ikaw ay
taimtim na nagdarasal
ng may malalim na pagmamahal;
binubulong kay Kristo
ang tibok ng iyong puso...

Tapos na ang misa
lumingon uli ako
sa kinaroroonan mo
sa aking isipan...
nasabi ko sa'yo--
bukas uli ha…

Gusto kitang makilala.
Kelan kaya yun?
Sana bukas na...

curious lang ako
kung sino ka?
at baka sakaling gusto mo maging--
Heswita...
hehehe

[para kay Praying Alone, isa sa mga regular 5pm mass goer sa Christ the King Church. Kukuha lang ako ng tyempo, para magpakilala sa'yo.)

007

2011-06-08T02:57:00.000-07:00

Today marks my 7th year in the Ateneo....
work and friends
• Joy at work comes from the humble reality that I am one of those who help in the formation of men and women who are Christ-centered, Competent, Persons of Conscience and Compassionately committed to change.
• Co -workers here are not just colleagues but also friends, who journey with me every day. They share in my difficulties and multiply my happiness. They are my support system equally strong as the four pillars.
lessons and wisdom
• Formation work is a continuous journey to be better and to give more, that in doing so, I do not just learn cognitive ideas and useful skills but also important life lessons and more, I come to embrace how to be truly human.

joys and struggles
• The joys that I have are the happy memories that I treasure in my heart--the blessing of good friends, the opportunity to serve and the chance to share in the mission of working for the Primum Regnum Dei.
• The struggles made me more aware of the stirrings within, they taught me to be more discerning, to always decide in freedom and clean conscience.
love and consolations
• Love is fire that lights my passion. It is the air that sustains me. The reason that moves me.
• My heart is grateful for the consolations, graces, blessings and beyond that I received, they are more than what I prayed for.
a journey to magis
My pledge is to embrace life fully and walk in the path, the way and manner that will lead me to the purpose, meaning and reason of my life, my God.
+amdg+
In thanksgiving, I say, to God be the glory.

lucky me

2011-06-03T01:44:00.000-07:00

I placed a bet on this week’s big lotto jackpot. I spent 20 on it pesos (isang cornetto na yun). I hoped to be the lucky winner (along with millions of Filipinos).

I did not win, but someone did.
With that, I asked myself,—what are the “treasures” of my life?

•My beautiful family whose love sustains me through the years, across the distance and beyond the test of times. Their love strengthens me to spread my wings and soar high.
•The countless relatives who made my growing years (up to this date) really remarkable and truly fun. I have countless memories and experiences of happy times with them.
•Wonderful and genuine friends who made me happy with their companionship and undaunted support. They are the angels who brought sparkles of heaven on the path I walk on earth.
•My mentors who taught, motivated and patiently formed me through my education and provided inspiration beyond classrooms and throughout my life.
•My life. It cuddles opportunities and chances that give me occasions to discern and to choose. The ability to search, hope, risk, love, hold on, let go, set free and move on. The moments to learn, forget, remember, cherish, linger, dwell, nurture, reap, sustain and change. The times of laughter, tears, pain, joys, sorrows, triumphs, consolations, desolations, answers, doubts, fullness and emptiness. The instances of enlightenment, confusion, darkness, light, depths, shallow, shadows and clarity. All these, I have felt in one way or another, speak to me heart and created stirrings that lead to embrace fully my life.

I am not perfect but I’m giving my best shots to remain committed to magis. I rely my entire being on my Core, my Creator. I am committed to grow more in my intimate relationship with my God.

I may have a good life but I don’t have everything. I still desire for more and want many.

I looked at my lotto ticket, reality sipped in. I did not win, but somebody did. However, the question, stirred me to look deeply into the realities of my life and made me appreciate more the countless blessings I have. I guess all these are far better than 356 million grand prize. For having and living my life with the people I love and with the opportunities I have is far beyond better than hitting the jackpot.

Once again I bowed my head...
Lord, thank you for all. I don’t have everything but I have the bests. Lucky me.
At isa pa, birthday ko nga pala ngayon. Yehey!

brooks

2011-05-17T18:26:00.000-07:00

Sunrise road run
Eucharistic celebration
Healthy breakfast
Happy Wednesday
Good morning sunshine!

I'm looking forward to Sunday
I'm excited to run on new routes
with Myang Ligaw and Running Warrior

I'm still discerning if I will
wear this (my new motto)
on my back as I run--

RUNNING HAPPY.
LIVING FREE.
LOVING MORE.

for a mutant friend

2011-05-13T21:47:00.000-07:00

You are a man of few words, minsan may mga kwento at reklamo ka rin pero ang dating macho pa din. Siguro ganoon talaga ang personality mo, direct to the point, wala masyado explanation and emotion. At lalo pang naemphasize ang yung pagiging tahimik kasi ang mga kasama mo ‘di matigil sa pagsasalita (sabagay kung sasabay ka pa sino na makikinig sa kanila). You’re a man of action. Kaya siguro ang galing mo tumakbo. Minsan duda ako na mutant ka,(most likely totoo nga) okey lang mabait ka naman. Palaging busy, pero may social life. Focus and rational. Adventurous and carefree. Seryoso at low profile.

Salamat

For the many movie treats (lalo na kapag 3D), ‘di ka nadadala magyaya. For the ice cream times. masarap talaga sa CS (lalo na kapag libre) at masayang kakulitan ang mga kasama. Tawanan at kwentuhan na walang humpay. For the road trips (photoshoots at swimming) mga lakad na kung saan-saan, basta may kalsada, may pwedeng puntahan, sa mga bundok, tabing dagat at mga falls. Because of your sense of adventure, mas napamahal ako sa ganda ng bicol. For the get togethers. Isa ka sa mga promotor ng buko juice sessions, of which I’m very thankful na dun ko kayo (mga katulad ko na lakwatsero at ayaw umuwi ng maaga) nakilala at madalas nakasama (nung may mga bisyo pa tayo hahaha).. Kwentuhan. Tawanan. Inuman. Kainan. Pagkakaibigan. For the road runs (our saving grace) sa ating lahat ikaw talaga yung seryoso dito. I was privileged to witness your metamorphosis as a runner.. From your first 10km run up to your farthest, lagi ako happy and proud sa tuwing mag-aabang kami sa pagdating mo finish line. Thank you for the tips and techniques (running coach), sa mga pagkain at energy drink na baon mo (na halos kami ang nakakaubos haha) and for the challenge and encouragement you give to us to pursue for more.

I will miss your company and your eccentric (in a good way) personality. I am very happy that you survived the last two years (despite the dangers, storms and earthquakes) without change of heart. Let my prayers accompany you, as you journey back home.
Go on, the road is long, run along. Be free and be happy. Together let’s run to the finish line! God bless you, dear friend.
See you soon.

basta

2011-05-10T17:52:00.000-07:00

Sa tuwing tayo'y magkakalayo
Hindi matahimik ang puso ko
Bawat sandali hanap kita
'Di mapakali hanggang muling makita ka
Dahil kung ika'y makita na
Labis-labis ang tuwang nadarama
Magisnan lamang ang kislap ng iyong mata
Kahit ano pa ay kakayanin ko na

**Basta't kasama kita
Lahat magagawa
Lahat ay maiaalay sa'yo
Basta't kasama kita
Walang kailangan pa
Wala nang hahanapin pa
Basta't kasama kita.

Giliw, sana ay ikaw na nga
Ang siyang mananatiling kasama ko
Dahil kung ika'y mawawala
Pati lahat sa buhay ko'y maglalaho

Repeat**

Walang kailangan pa
Wala nang hahanapin pa
Basta't kasama kita.

luma na ang kantang 'to. korni rin kung iisipin. pero kamakailan lamang ay nakuha ang atensyon ko ng muli ko itong marinig(dun sa korean teleserye na secret garden hahaha). ewan ko ba kung bakit may kilig at kakaibang haplos sa damdamin ko. para bang may kiliti sa puso ko tuwing naririnig ko ito. pakiramdam na may mumunting kuryente na tumatawid sa aking dibdib at nagdadala ng ngiti sa labi ko. toinks!

siguro dahil, ikaw ang naiisip ko--espesyal ka talaga sa buhay ko.

hehe, excited na ako magvideoke. kakantahin ko ito sigurado.♥♥♥

sunday's best

2011-05-09T17:29:00.000-07:00

Dear God, please bless all mothers, specially mine. Thank you so much for their great love, constant presence and gentle hands that unceasingly love and nurture us. They have shown and shared to us generosity, endurance and strength through their comforting words and unparalleled support that motivate and inspire us in our endeavors. May we (their children) make them proud and happy for they are our inspiration. And through our simple ways, may we make they feel that they are loved beyond measure and they are irreplaceable in our lives. Amen.

mama, without powers and magic you are the best heroine in my life.♥♥♥

happytears

2011-05-02T20:21:00.000-07:00

I was very happy to hear the news. Listening to you, excitedly telling me the story in between sobs(drowning with joy) on the end of the line, brought happy tears in eyes. We’ve been waiting for this. The prayers had been granted. The blessing was given.

My only regret is that, I’ll not be able to witness the ceremony in person. For that, I am very sorry. But I will surely celebrate with you, across the seas and in between islands.

Never forget how happy and proud I am of the man you are now. I will never cease to thank God for allowing you to be part of my life. You will always be my best memory of summer.

Prayers and love for you always. ♥HB

heaven

2011-04-26T18:50:00.000-07:00

Beautiful moon
Starlit sky
Top of the mountain
Freezing weather

Simple cabin
Lighted fireplace

New acquaintances
Adventure companions
Warm hosts
Delighted guests
Dearest friends

Delicious wine
Delectable chips
Cheerful people
Funny games
Entertaining stories
Meaningful conversations

A cloud nine adventure
Amazing grace

Peaceful mind
Thankful spirit

My heart is happy.

Thank you for all
04.10.2011
11:58pm, George’s, Rum 4
This was the picture of my last night in Sagada. The whole experience was an amazing 3 days and 2 nights of heaven on earth.

silent miracle

2011-04-03T18:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Running Warrior,

For all that had been, there are 5 things that I would like to thank you for---
• For every day fun and laughter. You are a poor joker, bad in math, master blooper but your one liner banats are truly remarkable. The everyday dosage of semplang is like vitamin that never fails to lift up our mood. Totoy bibo, crowd’s favorite, may sapi minsan (kaya hambogon man), madaming fans and certified crush ng bayan (weeehhh!). Gaya ng sabi ko sa’yo – kahit ano o sino ka tanggap ka namin, pinili ka (kasi wala ibang choice). At kung magdadala ka ng malaking lata at maglalakad-lakad sa centro hehe ‘di kita tutulungan pero sasabay pa rin ako sayo (kahit sobrang nakakahiya) hahaha!
• For the chance of knowing your friends and family. Thank you for welcoming us in your home and for allowing us to meet your great family, we really enjoyed it, it was super fun.
• Thank you adventure companion. We’ve been to many adventures—road trips to the hidden beaches, falls and beautiful bicol sceneries, hike in mt. isarog, calaguas weekend, caramoan escape, albay adventure and the coming soon sagada trip. Thank you for the coko café breakfasts, pansit canton lunch in my apt, GD and sta cruz’ snacks. The memorable dinners at Karlos, Molino, Chicken Bacolod, Grill Plus, Mcdonalds, Shakeys, and more. The countless Coffee and Co sessions (with a spy), Starmark times, Kwentong Starbucks and the heartwarming TCB moments (ang sacred space sa favorite couch). Birthday surprises. Christmas parties. Disco nights. Toing-its and sungka games. Basketball games. Eucharistic celebrations. Processions. Movies and sound trips. Buko juice buckets and videoke concerts. Photo shoots and kung fu panda poses.
• Thank for your constant presence (kumbaga sa student-perfect attendance, sa guard-on duty, sa doctor on call…) Thank you for sharing yourself in this friendship--lights and shadows, ups and down, laughter and tears, runs and pauses, talks and air gaps, humility and humbugs, insights and reflections, kaaway at kakampi, funny arguments and stimulating conversations, crowd and solitude, coded stories and bold assumptions, maturity and hayskulon, waaah and weeeh, choices and options, heartaches and heart leaps, beauty and madness. Thank you for sharing the joy in the sunshine and for resonating with the magical moon. Sa alon ng buhay, ihip ng hangin, tibok ng puso. I believe in my heart that you are the brother God forgot to give me but he surely made up for that—He allowed you to be my friend.
• Thank you and ‘good morning sunshine’. Among many things that I’ll miss having you around is our morning road runs. Maogma na makaiba ko kamo sa jogging, sa training and actual runs. Kamo ang idol ko. Thank you for the patiently waiting at AdNU main gate, thank you for keeping up with my pace as we run, thank you for sharing the blessings at sunrise. Thank you for the opportunity of running with you from our simple jogging days up to the great 80km ultra marathon. Future road runs will be tough for me because both of you will not be around anymore. Salamat sa tips, techniques and encouragement. See you at the finish line soon.

I am deeply happy that after two years of rerouting, you are going back home. God had called you and blessed you with a gift of vocation, may you remain committed to it in times of consolations and desolations. May you find reason to stay beyond cognitive understanding and feelings, may you always have a discerning heart and may you never forget that all is grace. Palagi at‘di ako titigil na kulitin at lambingin si God na ‘wag kalimutan pakinggan ang iyong mga dasal, panatilihing payapa ang puso at isipan at palaging may saya sa damdamin..

I look forward to life thinking I’ve been friends with you—it’s truly a blessing, having a friend like you, a silent miracle. Indeed, I am lucky (but still, you are luckier wahahaha).

With love and prayers,
heartbeat*

drama king

2011-03-24T22:19:00.000-07:00

Bihasa sa wikang tagalog.
Magaling (daw) magluto (pero ‘di pa ako nakatikim ng luto nya).
Mahilig sa badminton.
Minsan sumasama sa fun run (lalo na pag organize ng “kapatid” o kaibigan hehe).
Masipag at masinop na guro at moderator.

Masarap kakwentuhan.
Talakayan at pag uusap na di matapos-tapos.
Kasabay tumawa.
Kausap sa mga kwentong ‘di maubus-ubos.

Salamat sa mga dapit-hapon na dumadaan ka dito sa opisina para makipag kwentuhan at kumustahan. Masaya ako sa iba’t-ibang kwento mo, walang dull moment. Malalim kang kausap puno ng sense at depth. Amaze din ako sa zeal at passion mo sa buhay. Aliw ako sa pagkabibo mo. Minsan may pagkasuplado ka pero alam ko ika’y nagpapakatotoo. Nakakaaliw ang pagkaprangka, mabiro at seryoso.

Sa mga kwentong dasal, alon o kapanatagan, salamat sa pagbabahagi. Sa drama ng buhay na naikwento mo, marami akong natutunan. Sa mga oras na babad sa buko juice, sa paglibre ng ice cream at pasalubong na spaghetti, sa pagbabahagi ng sarili na kasalo ang kape, sa mga plano at trabahong pinagtulungan-maraming salamat.

Kunting panahon lang tayo nagkasama at naging magkaibigan, para sa akin ‘yun ay makahulugan.

As you go and continue your way bring with you my best wishes and prayers, may you never run out of reasons and strength to love in moments of consolations and desolation. May you remain committed as you embrace this life and nurture your vocation. I will remain to be your prayer warrior. I will miss you my friend. Take care, dear brother. The one and only, Drama King.

call

2011-03-20T23:16:00.000-07:00

for more than a month already, this is my welcome song at sunshine, closing song at sunset and lullaby at moonlight.... there are stories behind the sounds, thoughts in between lines and heartbeats as it bring butterflies in my heart...

it started out as a feeling
which then grew into a hope
which then turned into a quiet thought
which then turned into a quiet word

and then that word grew louder and louder
'til it was a battle cry

i'll come back
when you call me
no need to say goodbye

just because everything's changing
doesn't mean it's never
been this way before

all you can do is try to know
who your friends are
as you head off to the war

pick a star on the dark horizon
and follow the light

you'll come back
when it's over
no need to say good bye

now we're back to the beginning
it's just a feeling and now one knows yet
but just because they can't feel it too
doesn't mean that you have to forget

let your memories grow stronger ans stronger
'til they're before your eyes

you'll come back
when it's over
no need to say good bye

{this song also goes to the 3 bachelors that i have been blessed to share a beautiful friendship for the last 2 years. God bless you and i will surely miss having you around.tc)

friday*

2011-03-14T19:42:00.000-07:00

My week had been perfect until Mr.Bomb told me the news.
I was disappointed; I was expecting to hear the opposite of it.
But I am more saddened by the fact that he can’t explain why.
The day went through with my heart processing in silence the confusion within.
Hearing the mass did not appease the turmoil inside me.
I can’t find someone to talk to, everyone is busy.
I went to centro hoping that change of air will make me feel better.
To no avail, nothing different happened.
The solitary dinner gave me some sort of comfort but anxiety within lingers.

I decided to have an early night.
While on my way home, I received a text message from Drama King inviting me for a cup of coffee (his treat)
Whoa! What a surprise…
In our designated meeting place, I saw two friends with their bright smiles amidst the pouring rain.
I vowed my head in silent prayer of thanksgiving – Thank you God for sending not just one angel but two of your best ones.

We had ice cream as I poured out my heart. I felt better after sharing my thoughts. I knew I was not alone I was blessed to have two angels with their hidden wings and loving hearts embracing me with the warmth of friendship.
To celebrate the night, we had a bucket full of buko juice, talking, discussing stories and sharing thoughts about our future plans.

It dawned on me the reality that in few weeks time we will go separate ways, but I’m deeply happy for having them as my friends, I must have done something good for God to allow me to have friends like them.

Drama King and Running Warrior, thank you—my Friday angels. ♥♥♥

ticktack

2011-03-02T17:47:00.000-08:00

The countdown begins
One day at a time...

Every sunrise, every sunset
I’ll spend them with you
Every smile, every frown
I’ll share them with you
Every surprise, every expectation
I make them come true
Every success, every triumph
I’ll celebrate them with you
Every tear drop, every downfall
I’ll cry with you

The countdown begins
Every heartbeat,
Will be for you
Until our last day
together

[for hope green and violet ranger, until the end]
♥♥♥

639

2011-02-27T23:41:00.000-08:00

you make me like you each time you said my name
your voice is such a beautiful music to my ears
each time i see your smile my heart leaps for joy
your presence brings gladness that makes my days happier
i'm truly grateful that you are here.

tough days are coming
the countdown begins
i'm staying.
♥

ayAW

2011-02-22T02:08:00.000-08:00

ayokong lumipas ang mga oras
gusto ko manatili ang bawat sandali
pwede bang hindi umusad ang mga araw
hindi dumating ang bukang liwayway
hindi sumapit ang dapit-hapon
at hindi masilayan ang sinag ng buwan.

gusto ko ang ngayon...
hindi ka akin pero ikaw ay nandyan
hindi hawak ang iyong mga kamay
pero malapit at abot-tanaw
hindi pag-aari ag iyong puso
pero alam ang pakiramdam.

konting panahon pa,
muli na namang mabibiyak ang aking puso
ulit mararanasan ang kawalan at pagkabigo
dahil
sa nalalapit mong paghakbang palayo.

(isang malungkot na tula, katha ang isang kaibigan na nasa gitna ng isang madramang proseso ng usaping puso. Salamat Hope Green sa pagbabahagi ng tula at kwento, hangad ko ang iyong kaligayahan. Nandito lang ako ♥)

HT

2011-02-16T01:52:00.000-08:00

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it's only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together

If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

So happy together
How is the weather
So happy together
We're happy together
So happy together
Happy together
So happy together
So happy together (ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba)

[UC had been practicing this song for several days already and every time they sing --a smile crosses my lips and my heart skips a beat. There is only one memory that lingers-- the story of you. It's good to see you again today, once more, I was taken by your smile, Angel Gabriel. toinks♥]

f*ing

2011-02-10T18:48:00.000-08:00

ngiti sa labi
na hindi mapigil
at walang mapagkublihan.

kiliti sa puso
na may kakaibang pakiramdam
tila ba bumabalik ang mga nakaraan.

Kumusta ka na?
Saan ka na nakatira?
May asawa ka na kaya?
O baka dalaga at malaya?

ginugunita ko yung unang pakikita
sa isang seminar
ika’y napagmasdan
at nabighani ng kagandahan.

nadaan din sa isipan ang mga awitin ng kahapon
ano na nga ba ang tono noon?
marahil ang mga tugtugin ng gitara
ay muling maaalala kapag nakita kita.

naalala ko yung kwento ng ice cream
hay, bakit may mga paru-paro sa aking tiyan?
at sa tuwing kakain nito
may nagugunitang kwento tungkol sa’yo.

ngiti sa labi na 'di mapigil
sa mga text na tila kay sayang basahin
may kakaibang mahika
ang dala sa damdamin.

may kiliti pa rin sa puso
kahit kay tagal lang panahon ang lumupas
bakit tila ang mga alaala mo
at hindi kumukupas?

hahayaan ko na lamang ito
hindi na ako masyado magtatanong
at baka ang pag-uusap ay saan pa humantong.

ngiti sa labi
kiliti sa puso
hay, san nga ba pwede ihambing
ang spark na dala ng isang ka fling?

(like what i told you these are the moments of sparks and tickles. feel it. enjoy it, but never forget the deepest desire of your heart and your greatest love. dwell in this moment, D.E.)

Sparks

2011-02-06T19:34:00.000-08:00

There are reasons and persons who made difference in our lives. Some of them stay for a while, others do remain for a longer time. This entry is for My Moon and Stars-who brought light during dark days, who sustains love in friendship, who give reasons to smile, who holds my hands, who makes my heart happy and who asks, risks and love.
Original Sunshine, gone were the days that I neglect your texts and reject your calls. Today, I know my heart better and it’s call. You continue to brighten my days with excitement and colors but I know my choice and I embrace it. Your presence brought light during my dark days, I am deeply grateful. My apologies for the pain I caused you and thank you for understanding. Now, we know who we are and I am happy. I am your friend, I deeply care for you and will always be. Thank you for all and be happy. Cute ka pa rin para sa akin hehehe.
Summer, for all that had been and will be--you remain to be one of the best in my life. Thank you, dear friend for everything. I will treasure you and continue to grow in the friendship that we have. Stay happy and truly blessed.
George, there are days that you really surprise me with your smile and your simple gestures. My heart skips every time you amazed me. We lived in two different worlds--you are silent, I am loud. You’re home buddy, I love social life. You smile in silence, I laugh out loud. You are cautious, I am careless. You like to be alone, I love crowds. We have totally different personalities yet I’m glad that in friendship we learn to accept and love each other. Thank for your silence, simplicity, thoughtfulness and sweet smile that I usually encounter in most unexpected places and circumstances. Aaminin ko, minsan kiikilig ako sayo hahaha…
Mybok, thank you for the chocolates, books and football times. Through the years, thank you for holding my hands and loving my heart. I love you too much (that’s why we are friends). I look forward to seeing you soon and celebrate once more our beautiful heart connections. My Wednesdays are special because of you. Stay sweet and forever, i keep you in my heart. hahaha akala ng iba bf kita, toinks!
Angel Gabriel, there are moments that you really caught me off guard, in a happy way. I am grateful for the companionship we shared you helped me to be strong in my doubts and you allowed me to journey with you in your low moments. Truly we sing off beat tunes but I know together we create beautiful music. Thank you moonlight. Pinapalukso mo minsan ang puso ko hehehe
Mr Heart String, you seems to be the biggest surprise of all. You had my yes, so make sure you make most of this chance. I hope to know your world and as you would like to know mine. The distance between us and the schedule we have may not be friendly at all times. As you said there are ways to cross distance and time. Maybe, then let see... Minsan kinakabahan ako kasi baka mawalan ako ng immunity laban sa'yo hehehe...

Beyond the fleeting seasons and mysteries of life—thank you for bringing beautiful sparks in my heart--
to friendship and beyond—Cheers!
Happy Valentines!♥

392

2011-02-03T01:44:00.000-08:00

andyan ka na naman
parang kaylan lang
minsan ka lang mawala
pero bakit parang
nakakamiss ka bigla.

sana 'wag naman masanay
kasi...
alam mo na,
kumplikado ang mga bagay-bagay.

pero sa kahit anong paraan mo
palagi kang wagi
lagi mo akong napapangiti.

[inspirasyon mula sa mga ngiti ni Bb. Chi Na Ey]

♥

2011-01-27T16:58:00.000-08:00

Ang puso na may wagas na pag-ibig at tunay na nagmamahal hindi napapagod. Handa nitong ipagdiwang ang lahat ng bagay nang mapagpalaya at hindi makasarili. Bukas na magtaya sa kaligayahan at pagkalubos ng kabuunan ng minamahal. Hindi ito manhid sa pagsakit at paghihirap subalit sa kadakilaan ng pagmamahal may lakas ito at tiwala. Tanggap na ang kapalaran ng pagmamahal at nasa kamay ng Bathala at ang gawa ay nasa pagbibigay ng buong sarili sa minamahal. Nagnanais ito ng paglago ng pagkatao, paglalim ng pananaw sa buhay at pagyakap ng buo sa damdamin.
Marami ang nagnanais at naghahagad ng tunay na pag-ibig, ngunit minsan, ito ay mailap. Marahil kailangan talagang maghintay, magpagod at magtiyaga upang maging kapakipakinabang at nararapat sa espesyal na biyaya.

Amen

2011-01-25T01:48:00.000-08:00

Salamat sa walang sawang pagmamahal
walang katapusang pagyakap ng pag-ibig mo sa akin
hindi sapat ang salitang mahal rin kita
kung gaano ako kasaya na minamahal mo ako.

Ikaw, Kristo ang aking Panginoon
ngayon at magpakaylanman.
Amen.

[a moment of consolation
16th Vocation Week Celebration
Ateneo de Naga University]

091

2011-01-13T05:43:00.000-08:00

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while--BM

'di naman dapat mag explain
hindi rin kailangan magpaalam
ang cute mo lang kasi tingnan,
hindi naman ako nagtatanong
bakit ka nagpapaliwanag?
wala naman ako sinasabi
bakit ka bumabawi?

'wag kang ganyan
ikaw ha, baka ano na yan?

gaya ng dati,
nagdala ka na naman ng ngiti
sa aking mga labi.

salamat, angel gabriel.♥

HIGH jumps!

2011-01-06T22:48:00.000-08:00

my 2010's story.
completed part of my bucket list.
obtained through God's grace.

The Roadruns. Countless morning joggings, 7 fun runs, 1 national race and 1 international marathon. Increase in endurance, changes in ptr, extended distance (up to 14km stretch!), healthier body, happier mind and freeier heart. I clamor for more!
My running mates: Achi Mya, Dancing Mafia, Master Runner, Running Warrior, Rising Star, Discerning Eaglet, Ball Dribble and others. My Twin Towers, who asked me to my first run 10 years ago.
Starbucks, my third place. Welcome to Naga and stay forever. Countless starbucks memories. Heartfelt kwentong starbucks. 16 stickers. Beautiful planner. Expanding tumbler collection. Coffee treats. Trade secrets. Hearty laughs. Treasured friendships. Genuine connections. Love. Love. Love.
Table stories. delicious food and happy company.Laughter and burps. Food trips. Pig outs. Tea sessions. Night dates. Breakfast meals.Photoshoots. Durian ice cream. Corned beef. Hot calamansi honey tea. Cinnamon swirl. Lychee jelly. Tsinong talong. Pancit guisado. Mocha java frost. Palabok. OMG crispy pata. Gambasetti. Buko Juice. Bunch of lunch. Wowchow. Toasted Siopao. Asado Mami. Sili ice cream. Sizzling chicken. TCB. Shakeys. Molino Grill. Karlos. Coldshack. Beanbag. Musicbox. Coffee&Co. Coko Cafe. Red Platter. Mama's Kitchen.
Travels. Road trips to undiscovered lands, seas, mountains, falls and caves of Bicol. Manila mania. Baguio homecoming. Palawan paradise. Calaguas explore. Caramoan adventure. Albay escape. CamNorte drive. Sorsogon discovery and more! pack your bags, travel mates. Let's go!
The Big Bangs. AdNU at 70. Devotion to Ina at 300. Birthdays. Weddings. Family affairs. House parties. Glamour, beauty,shine, bloom, linger.
Heart connections. Witches (happier-stronger @14 years—more kids and warlocks to come!), Computer Wizard and (welcome back to my life) and Dream Team (together!), Hairbrush (more coffee breaks), Foursome (thank you for the prayer sundates, XOXO) SuperB at old friends (im happy to grow old with you) Residents of Pooh -old and new(my heart finds home in you) Achi Mya and the Boys*(buko juice, runs, strawberry fields and beyond-eat, pray, run! Gracias ♥♥♥)Tropa (for the discoveries, affirmations, heart leaps and hangovers). ; Fb & fs (across the world)
My Moon and Stars. Original sunshine (for the light even during rainy days); Summer (Thank you for your love); George (you never cease to surprise me).Bok (through the years, thank you for holding my hands) Mr. Heart String (next time you ask, my answer is yes.) Angel Gabriel (thank you moonlight, you always make my heart happy.) Beyond the fleeting seasons and mysteries of life—thank you for bringing beautiful sparks in my heart.
My Lovelines. Beyond distance and changing times your love and support made me see the beauty in simplest thing, the joy in the plainest gesture and the graces in the ordinary. To the moon and back I love you too much.
Moontime. Moments of solitude, to listen to the stirrings within. Days of retreat and prayer, to look into the greatness in nothingness and emptiness in perfection. Time alone--to explore, to cry, to laugh, to forgive, to be thankful, to be naughty, to be nice, to dream, to win, to lose, to risk. To live and love.
My God. His eyes, looking at me. His hands, embracing me. His heart, loving me. I received many blessings, sacrificed some. I experienced abundance of happiness, endured some pains. For everything that You gave me, all of me is yours, my Lord.

365.25 days of beautiful life!♥♥♥

twintowers

2010-12-19T22:24:00.000-08:00

Baby Sweet Armalite
You’re one most gentle person I’ve known in my life. Your heart edifies the deep wisdom and life principles that you profoundly honored. You know I am truly proud of you. I commit my heart to accompany you in every step of the way. Like in the past, you will be an important person in my future as you are today. I am truly blessed to have you. I will never cease to ask God to keep you safe and happy always because, you are very important to me.

Baby Builder Master
You’re gifted, there is no doubt about it. You are generous to your core. I truly admire your person. I am here always to share with your triumphs and I am privilege to accompany you in your rocky roads. I thank God for every day that He allows me to have you in my life. I continue to pray that God will give you reasons to be happy always. Continue to dream because you are bigger than them.

Twin Towers. With your imperfections and shortcomings you give me perfect moments that I dearly treasure. I am eternally grateful for the love that we have, forever I’ll stay and try my very best to be the best for you.I truly love you both to the moon and back. I miss you, come home soon brothers!

Saturday joy

2010-11-30T22:20:00.000-08:00

Sa pagsapit ng ika 7 taon ng aming pagkakaibigan. Natupad na rin ang matagal na naming Christmas wish, ang paghahandong ng--Christmas joy.

•3 sabado ng gift giving sa mga napiling mahihirap na pamilya, lalo na sa mga munting bata. Simpleng programa na magsimula sa Christmas story, merienda at pamamahagi ng mga regalo.
•10 friends, pagkakaibigan, ang dahilan ng aming samahan at pagmamahalan.( Mr. and Mrs. Nice Brat, Rich O, My Heart, Fidodido, Eyes Baby,Cadbury Girl, Mr. and Mrs. Sweet Things at Heartbeat)

•2 beloved children, si Baby Genius (anak nina Mr. and Mrs. Nice Brat) at si Little Queen (anak nina Mr. and Mrs. Sweet Things). Sila ang aming inspirasyon.
•10,000.00 piso ang aming naipon mula sa potluck, pambili ng pamaskong handog.
•3 full tanks of gasoline, ang mauubos sa 3 beses na Christmas joy.
•3 barangay, na lubos na mahirap, nasa tabing dagat, walang ilaw, walang tubig at communication signal. Puno ng pag-asa, nais bahaginan ng munting saya.
•96 espesyal na regalo ang naipon at binalot.
•40 families ang napiling pagbigyan.(Isang munting parol at isang balde ng grocery)
•55 kids ang ninais handugan ng mga simpleng regalo (munting laruan, payak na tsinelas at simpleng damit)
•60 merienda packs, pang alis ng gutom at pandagdag aliw.

One Christmas, one friendship, one hope, one joy and one love.Thank you loving God for the gift of Christmas. For the blessings we received and for giving us generous hearts that are willing to give.

before 5am

2010-11-25T00:40:00.000-08:00

Rarely do we realize that we are in the midst of the extraordinary. Miracles occur all around us, signs from God to show us the way, angels plead to be heard, but we pay little attention to them because we have been taught that we must follow certain formulas and rules if we want to find God. We do not recognize that God is wherever we allow Him to enter.--By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

• Foggy early morning, an atmosphere of serenity. In its silence, it creates a definition of solitude.
• Beautiful sunrise, a wonderful blend of colors. It forms a masterpiece beyond words.
• Morning road run, a passion and a routine to a wealthy life. It helps to develop a strong endurance, good health and happy disposition.
• Fresh air, cold breeze, morning dew- totally amazing.
• Blue sky, green fields, safe roads-truly a blessing.
• Company of good friends, a smile of a stranger, encouragements of by passers- definitely inspiring.
• Every time.
• Every moment.
• Every day.
• Always.

Everlasting thanksgiving and endless praises to you loving God,
for the countless miracles and immeasurable graces.
Amen.

O

2010-11-21T16:58:00.001-08:00

bilog ang buwan, nakakatuwa tingnan
ang kanyang liwanag bumabalot sa langit.
ika'y tumingala at nang masilayan,
ang kanyang kagandahan na kaakit-akit.

@17

2010-11-16T17:16:00.000-08:00

November 9
Takipsilim pa lang naghihintay na kami ni Mr Kua sa aming mga kasama para sa isang gabi ng kwentong starbucks. Nasa silid-aralan pa si Discerning Eaglet, nowhere-to-be-found si Bebe Backless Pulis. Matapos ang maraming kwento dumating na rin ang hinihintay namin. Hay salamat!

Pagdating namin sa SB, masayang ngiti ang salubong sa amin ni Ball Dribble (may planner na sya) at ni Sweet Lakwatsero (may konting sticker na).

Sa isang bahagi ng Starbucks nagkaroon kami ng sariling mundo kung saan kami nagkakwentuhan at nagbahagi ng sarili. Naging bukas sa pagsasalaysay ng mga opinion at saloobin kasalo ang masarap na kape pati na rin si Sweet Lakwatsero na sumali sa aming kwentuhan.

Masaya ako sa gabing ito- nakinig, nagsalita at nagbahagi ng sarili. Sa aking pag-uwi baon ko ang saya na tatlong stickers na lang ang kulang at nagpapasalamat sa grasya ng mga kaibigan.

November 10

I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

A week after the Starbucks Christmas season launch
after six memorable of coffee nights
and happy company of many good friends,
I was able to collect them all--17stickers.
Thank you Tsinitang Kulot, Bebe Backless Pulis, Mother Jasmine, Dra. Rich, Discerning Eaglet and Mr Kua for sharing with me heartwarming kwentong starbucks this Christmas season.
I am now a happy owner of 2011 Starbucks (wood) limited edition planner.
Merry Christmas coffee lovers all over the world!

nigHTCAlls

2010-11-10T23:04:00.000-08:00

November 5
Sa wakas natupad na rin ang matagal na plano na magkakwentuhan habang umiinom ng masarap na kape. Sa kwentong ito kasama ko ang caffeine deprived na si Mother Jasmine at ang stress sa work na si Dra. Rich. Ang tagal na naming plano na lumabas at mag-bonding pero syempre napakalawak ng solar system ng AdNU at napakalayo ng mga planetang amin tinitirhan ngayon lang talaga nangyari na magkasama-sama kami ulit. Binalikan at sinariwa ang mga kwentong lungga at mga taong nakilala sa house of pooh. Nakakatuwa ang tagal na pala ng mga taong lumipas at ang dami na palang kwentong nangyari. Nakakaaliw at nakakamiss. May mga bagong kwento at kaganapan. May mga pagtatapos at panimula. Pero nananatili ang mga kaibigan sa init at ulan, pagtitipon at pagiisa.
Salamat Mother Jasmine sa lampas 25 taon ng pagkakaibigan. At kay Dra Rich sa 5 taon na kaibigan at ate kita. Cheers sa maraming taon ng pagsasama at maraming kwentong starbucks ng buhay natin. Yehey meron na akong 8 stickers!

November 8
Malalim na ang gabi busog na sa dinner at kwento. Habol pa, para sa kwentong starbucks. Si Discerning Eaglet lang ang kasama ko. Pero nakakaaliw na sorpresa, pag dating naming doon masayang ngiti ni Dancing Mafia at Ball Dribble ang sumalubong sa amin. Ang masaya pa, dumating din si Sweet Lakwatsero at ang kanyang mga kaibigan. Masayang kwentuhan tungkol sa buhay eskwela, sa darating na pasko, buhay pag ibig at ang masayang sticker collection moments. Walang patid na pag-uusap, malang humpay na tawanan. Eto yung sorpresang starbucks kwento na akala ko isa lang ang makakasalo pero naging super saya kasi marami kami. Sana maulit muli. 11 stickers na ako 6 na lang bago dumating ang planner ko.

"friends are like snowflakes all different and all beautiful"--starbucks xmas

52 days

2010-11-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

Christmas Season @ Starbucks.
Nabago na ang white paper cups.
Nandyan na ulit and starbucks Christmas drinks.
Pwede na uli ang holidays food variety.
At simula na ng Starbucks sticker collection moments.

November 3
Kwentong starbucks kasama si Tsinitang Diwata. First time niya dito. As usual masaya siyang kasama. Usapang puso. Kwentong pamilya. Pagbigkas ng mga pangarap. Masaya ako na naging malalim ang aming kwentuhan. Mas narinig ko ang lungkot at saya sa likod ng kanyang mala-angel na tinig. Mas nakita ko ang pait at kislap ng kanyang mga mata sa harap ng lente ng kamera. At mas naunawaan ko ang hiwaga ng kanyang pagkatao at puso. Salamat sa pagkakataon na makagawa kami ng kwentong Starbucks habang iniinom ang masarap na toffee nut latte and peppermint mocha at dahil dyan meron na akong 2 stickers.

November 4
Matapos ang maraming kwentuhan, mahabang paglalakad at 2 beses na dinner nakarating din kami sa Starbucks. Toffee nut latte uli sa akin, Café latte sa first timer na si Discerning Eaglet at Iced chocolate para kay Bebe Backless Pulis. Usapang trabaho. Kwentong mundo. Tawanan sa bloopers. Crazy ideas. Pati ambiance lugar at lasa ng kape napag-usapan. Mga huling gabi na ito ng social life bago maging busy ang lahat. Ang sarap ng kwentuhan lalo na kapag exchange gifts at Christmas wish list na ang usapan. Bago pa maghating-gabi kami ay naglakad na pauwi. Masaya ako sa day 2 ng Starbucks Christmas season, 5 stickers na ako 12 to go.

Bukas ulit. Sana ikaw na ang kasama ko :-)

waiting shed

2010-10-28T18:11:00.000-07:00

Ilang beses na ba akong tumayo
at nanatili pansamantala dito?
Nagbakasakali na may dumaaang sasakyan
patungo sa paroroonan
at meron pang bakanteng upuan.

Gaano ba katagal?
Anong sasakyan kaya?
Alin kaya mauna?
Saan kaya ang punta?

Ang daming pwedeng pag pilian--
Sasakay na ba ako sa unang dumaan?
o mag babakasakaling maghintay
baka mas maganda ang sunod na dadaan?
Sa pagmamadali at paghahabol ng oras--
Sasakay na ba ako kahit puno
at matitiyagang magbyahe ng nakatayo?
o manatiling maghintay sa susunod na sasakyan
baka may bakanteng upuan?
Sa paglalakbay at paglandas ng daan--
Patungo sa paroroonan
Ayos lang ban a mag isa
o mas mainam na man kasama?

okey lang ako dito sa waiting shed ng buhay,
ingat ka din sa iyong paglalakbay.
kita tayo sa buwan, angel gabriel.

312

2010-10-19T19:52:00.000-07:00

sa umaga na mga ulap ang bumabalot sa kalawakan,
hindi mapigil ang pagluha ng kalangitan,
at ang sinag ng araw ay kay hirap masilayan--
sapat na ikaw ay nariyan.

haNDSHake

2010-10-13T00:46:00.000-07:00

Mga ngiti dahil sa sorpresa.
Hand shake.
Ikaw nga ba yan?
Bumalik ka nga.
Nandito ka uli!
Naalala ko yung kwento natin--
Labis dalawang taon.
Tayo ay naging malapit na magkaibigan.
Magkasalo madalas sa hapag-kainan
Breakfast buddy.
Lunch mate.
Dinner partner.
Magkasama sa social life
Countless coffee cups and bottomless stories
Summer escapades and fun-filled adventures
Parties at gimiks
SMB nights at lakwatsa
Tunay na magkaibigan
Kahati sa workload
Kasalo sa stress
Kasabay sa celebration
Kasama sa experiences
sa lahat ng bagay
madalas buong oras
magkaibigan, ikaw at ako.

Labis tatlong taon--
Hindi tayo nagpansinan.
Malaking gap at malawak na space.
May mga sariling mundo at walang pakialam sa bawat isa.
Magkaibang prinsipyo, mataas na pride at kumplikadong kwento.
Ngayon--
Masaya ako na makasama kang muli.
Maulit ang malalim na pagbabahagi ng mga kwento ng buhay natin.
Ang pakikinig, ang pagdamay at pananatili
Magkasalo sa hapag kainan.
Makasama sa coffee story.
Magkaibigan muli, ikaw at ako.

Sobrang namiss ko ang ganito.

Saan ka man dalhin ng mga pangarap mo hangad ko na maging masaya sa mga biyaya ng buhay. Nawa’y lalo kang maging kontento sa pag-ibig at mabuhay ng maligaya at nagmamahal.Sana manatili tayong magkaibigan, walang iwanan gaano man magkaiba ang ating mga prinsipyo at paninindigan.
Salamat sa muling pagbabalik
at muling pananatili, computer wizard.

Sa dalawang buwan na nandito ang starbucks sa naga, ang kwentong starbucks natin ang pinakamasaya.♥

3muskicheers

2010-10-12T22:38:00.000-07:00

Madilim ang langit pero kadiliman na walang galit. Masaya ang buwan ngayon. Hindi siya nag-iisa, kasama niya ang tatlong tala. Mukhang may plano ang barkada, saan kaya ang gimik nila?
Masaya ang buwan, maligaya ang kalawakan. Natawa ako. Pinagmasdan ko ang tapat ng langit kung saan ako nakaupo, may tuwa rin dito, espesyal pa kasi kasama ko ang 3 muskicheers ngayon.

Si dancing mafia. Astig ang porma niya ngayon. Matagal ko na siyang kaibigan. Hindi pa rin siya nagbabago ang dami ng kwento at hataw sa joke. Kapag siya ang kasama protektodo at walang lumbay moment. Ipagtatanggol ka sa mga mang-aapi at ‘di ka iiwan. Madami siyang alam gawin-jack of all trade. Aliw siyang kakwentuhan pati sa asaran. Yun nga lang, tamad sya mag jogging pero mukhang foreigner na runner. Dalawa ang pinakakinatatakutan niya ang magutom at 'di makakain.
Si mysterious nerdy. Gana kid gonna grow siya ngayon, food trip, kasi meron daw siyang flu (weird ano?).Simpleng may sipa, tipong nice guy at misteryosong snob. Apo siya ni Einstein at by the looks-artistahin. Masaya siyang kausap well read, bottomless na trivia at nakakaliw ang kanyang mga weird ideas. Siya ‘yung tipo ng tao na handang maging totoo sa sarili kahit sabihin pang kakaiba sa karamihan, lubos lang talaga syang malalim at may sense. Madami siguro kaming pagkakaiba perong tuwa ako sa kaibigan kong ito kung ‘di lang ako nauna ipinanganak ng ilang taon pwede kaming maging kambal.

Si running warrior. Gaya ng dati-- totoy bibo, trying hard mag joke, di bihasa sa math pero certified crowd’s favorite. Dami nitong fans, crush ng bayan. Dedicated na kakampi at kasama sa lahat ng bagay. All the time karamay at kasabay sa alon, ulan, buwan at sunshine ng buhay. Magkasundo kami kasi marami kaming halos parehong ugali. May lalim din ito, may babaw at palaging ‘di mawawala ang semplang. Road run buddy ko at consistent running mate. Kapag siya ang kasama pwede kahit walang plano, kahit may bloopers basta masaya okey na. Isa siyang mabuting kaibigan, hiling ko na matugunan na ang lahat niyang dasal.
3 muskicheers, katulad ng tatlong tala, tatlong larawan ng ng mga tunay na kaibigan. Gaya ng buhay mapalad ako nasa kalawakan ng mundo nakasama ko silang tatlo. Maligaya ang araw na ito, sumasayaw sa musika ang akin puso.
Tumingala ako sa langit, sa aking ngiti naguhit ang pasasalamat para mga tala na kumukutitap sa gabi ng buhay.

himig

2010-10-05T22:32:00.000-07:00

Kung ako ang may-ari ng mundo,
ibibigay lahat ng gusto mo,
Araw-araw pasisikatin ang araw,
buwan-buwan pabibilugin ko ang buwan
para sa'yo, para sa'yo
Susungkitin mga bituin, para lang makahiling,
na sana'y maging akin,
puso mo at damdamin,
kung pwede lang, kung kaya lang,
kung akin ang mundo,
ang lahat ng ito'y iaalay ko sa'yo...
Kung ako ang hari ng puso
Lagi kitang pababantay kay kupido,
Hindi na luluha ang 'yong mga mata,
mananatiling may ngiti sa 'yong labi,
para sa'yo, para sa'yo.

Kinakanta ito ni Singing Bookworm ng una kong marinig. Naaliw ako ng lubos sa ganda ng kanyang boses at sa mga kataga ng kanta. Ngiti ang gumuhit sa aking labi habang nakikinig. Lumukso ang aking puso sa saliw ng awiting ito. Sa buhay ko,palagi talaga may kiliti ang musika.
True enough, love make us generous to give.We give not only our entire being but the best of everything. We give even when we are hurting and even beyond pain. We want to bring out the best in the person we love because doing so make us truly happy and will eventually bring out the best in us.
Ang saya isipin, ang sarap sa pakiramdam. Pagnagmamahal ka talaga ng totoo at buo para ng ikaw ang may-ari ng mundo kasi nasa iyo ang puso ng taong mahal mo.

...♥

Sun moves*

2010-10-05T02:19:00.000-07:00

I remember the question Original Sunshine asked me few times.

Sunrise or Sunset?

My answer was always sunrise. I believe that sunrise brings hope of new beginnings, joy of new endeavors and energy of new journeys. It is an opportunity to recreate better things, nurture greater happiness and fulfill bigger dreams.

But looking at the majestic sunset in front of me I came to a realization that it has its own miracles to celebrate. At sunset, there are many the reasons to rejoice--the blessings of a wonderful day, the fullness of the experiences, the pain of losing, the opportunity to grow, the realization of aspirations and it also anticipates the mysteries of the night.

Sunsets are moments of crossing over that is relevant in completing the cycle of night and day.

I ask myself again- Sunrise or Sunset?

[Words woven from the stirrings within during a solitary visit at Ligñon Hill, Legazpi City, one fine September day. Happy heartbeats.]

serenade

2010-09-28T04:17:00.000-07:00

Lying here with you,Listening to the rain,
Smiling just to see, The smile upon your face,
These are the moments, I thank God that I'm alive,
These are the moments, I'll remember all my life,
I found all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more.
Looking in your eyes,
Seeing all I need,
Everything you are, Is everything to me,
These are the moments, I know heaven must exist,
These are the moments, I know all I need is this,
I have all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more.
I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could not ask for more than this time with you,
Every prayer has been answered,
Every dream I have's come true,
And right here in this moment, Is right where I meant to be,
Here with you, Here with me. . .
These are the moments, I thank God that I'm alive,
These are the moments, I'll remember all my life,
I've got all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more. . .
I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could not ask for more than this time with you,
Every prayer has been answered,
Every dream I have's come true,
And right here in this moment, Is right where I meant to be,
Here with you, Here with me. . .

I could not ask for more than the love you gave me,
'Coz it's all I've waited for . . .
And I could not ask for more,
I could not ask for more.

[it is very difficult to put together words to convey what i want to say to you. your light shines as bright as the sun. indeed, i could not ask for more for you
give me the best always. thank you for staying and beyond, moonlight. *teardrops*]

the big day*

2010-09-27T03:38:00.000-07:00

After a night of elusive sleep due to overwhelming excitement, here we are at 230am, traveling to the starting lines.

The big day is here.
The long wait is over.
The clock is counting.
The sky is beautiful.
The moon is smiling.
Sunshine is waiting.
Let’s go and run.
Have fun under the sun.
Fireworks had been lighted up.
Gun had been fired.
Go on run.
See you at the finish line.

Eyes on the finish line. I finished with a happy heart. Touched down. Home run. I had beaten my own time.

Dong and MyLoves, thank you for waiting along the sidelines with the cameras and bags of foods and water. Your moral support moved me deeply, your presence really made run extra special, because I know that at the finish line the two of you will cheer and celebrate our home runs. Thank you also to Padre and Long.

Long Runner, Yohooo! Congratulations! The training had paid off. You made it to your first full marathon finish! During the training I’m already a fan and on this big day you amazed me again, though you were unable to beat your own time. I’m proud to say, that I was there to witness the metamorphosis of you as a runner. Thank you for the encouragement and the tips. Go on my friend the road is long, run along. Be free and be happy.

Mr. Kua, Yohhoo! You made it with flying colors. It was good to see you touched the finish line with a smile on your face. I tell you, with sweat and all, Mr. Ben really looks like a foreigner and a celebrity but you’re my friend, so my vote is on you. Thank you for your presence during the training days. Solitary runs maybe good but your company made the practices better. Go on, see on the 21km race next year!

Achi Maya, you were the first one to register on this race and that prompted me to join also. At the starting line, we both agreed that 10km would have been a greater challenge but nevertheless we will give the 5km run our best shot. It really feels good having you near. I’m happy you are here. Though during the run we lost each other amidst the throngs of people; I’m glad that we both reached the finish line beating our individual running time. I hope we can run together again and beyond. I’m glad to know that today you are happy, that makes me happier. If marathon day can make you happy I hope we can have it every Sunday hahaha. In the coming days I’ll be missing you again, but I hold to now, when you are here. Under the beautiful moonlight we run towards the beautiful sunshine, thank you achi.

Congratulations dear friends, let us continue the practice/training until the next marathon.:-)

Whowebliss 2

2010-09-23T20:09:00.000-07:00

Espesyal na hapon
[16th.ix.2010y]

Ay naku! simula pa lang parang may habulan. Bakit ang bilis ng sasakyan?

Nang aking nasilayan ang lugar na pupuntahan ako ay natuwa—parang na miss ko ang ganitong lugar. Parang minsan sa buhay ko nasanay ako sa tanawing ganito. Naalala ko ang mga makulay at masayang baguio days.

Espesyal nga talaga ang araw na ito kasi sa aming pagdating may kasama kami—ang Mahal na Ina.

May ligaya sa aking puso na makita ang mga naka uniform, tahimik na nakikinig sa programa habang ang kanilang mga pamilya ay nasa isang bahagi ng malaking kubo na kung tawagin nila ay palasyo. Ang buong lugar ay nabalot ng panalangin, pagbabahagi, pagninilay at taimtim na pagdarasal.

Pagkatapos ay namahagi na ng munting regalo sa mga tatay na cafgu ay nagpalaro sa mga bata. Ang saganang merienda aynaghihintay sa hapag kainan upang pagsaluhan.
Muli ang lahat ay nagtipon para sa isang prusisyon. Habang nasa daan, taimtim na dalagin ang sumabay sa aming mga hakbang. Ang sabayang paghawak sa bawat butil ng rosaryo ang hudyat ng bawat pagbigkas ng mga kataga ng panalangin. Ang awit na akapela ang nagduyan sa aming mga dasal patungo sa langit, salat man sa himig ng musika alam ko na narinig yun ng Maykapal.

Namangha ako sa mga nakahilerang magigiting na kawal na nagbabatay sa daan. Ang lahat ng tao kung hindi man kasama ay may kasiyahang nag aabang sa tabi ng daan. Ang lahat ay nagtitipon at nagsasaya sa maraming biyaya.

Sa Santa Misa ay ipagdiwang, ipagpasalamat ang espesyal na araw. Matapos pagsahulan ang sakramentong banal,muling nag imbita ang mga opisyal-- kasalo ang Obispo, mga general at ang lahat ng magigiting na kawal. Sa saliw ng masayang tugtog ng banda pinagsaluhan ang handa. Oo nga pala, ito ay fiesta ng ating Mahal na Ina.
Viva la Virgen!

[words woven from the stirrings within after a heart-warming outreach activity.
AdNU Tercentenary Outreach Program, September 2010]

Whowebliss 1

2010-09-21T19:37:00.000-07:00

Umagang kay ganda
16th.ix.2010y

Wala na sigurong tatamis pa sa regalong ngiti na mula sa isang paslit.
Wala nang iinit pa sa yakap ng isang bata.

Nang pumunta ako sa isang espesyal tahanan handa ako na magbahagi ng oras at sarili.
...Sa pakikipag laro at pakikipag kwentuhan.
...Sa pakikipag usap at pakikinig.
...Sa pagbibigay at pakikibahagi.

Ngunit ang biyaya ng Maykapal ay hindi lamang para sa hangaring magbukas ng sarili sa pagbibigay ngunit mas lalo pa sa pagpapakumbaba ng pagtanggap.

Salamat mumunting anghel,
...sa mga ngiti na walang katulad.
...sa paghawak sa aking kamay habang kayo ay kasabay maglakad.
...sa pagyakap ng walang kasing higpit ng hawak ko kayo sa aking bisig.

Dalangin ko na sana sa bawat pagsikat ng araw ay lalo ninyong maramdaman ang pagmamahal ng Maylikha, ng inyong mga taga pag-alaga, mga kasama, mga bisita at higit sa lahat ng inyong pamilya.

[a reflection after spending the whole morning at Queen of Peace Orphanage,
AdNU Peñafrancia Tercentenary Outreach Activities, September 2010]

MERRYercoolest

2010-09-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

[15th.IX.2010y]

3:00am Travel time to Lago del Rey,CWC. Sabi nga “talo ng maagap ang masipag.” Ganoon din kaya sa marathon? Masaya pala ang pakiramdam na pagmasdan ang tahimik na mundo dahil tulog pa ang mga tao.

3:30am Rain at dawn. Sumilong sa kubo at simulan ang kwento. Kakatuwa naman kahit magdamag ang duty si kuya guard ay bibung-bibo, dami ng kwento.

5:00am Wala na ang ulan, stretching stunts exhibition na. Stretching doon stretching dito.

5:30am Simulan na ang takbuhan. Huminga ng malalim langhapin ang sariwang hangin. Ihakbang ang mga paa sa finish line ang punta. Maraming overtakes na ba? Hayaan mo sila. Ilang hakbang na lang kumpleto na ang required rounds. Home run! This is really fun!

6:15am Yohoo! Lakad na, pang relax ng paa. Muling daanan ang tinakbong daan.

6;30am Retouch. Banana festival-pampalakas, pampalusog. Pang-iwas sa cramps. Happy fruit. Gana kid gana grow. Busugin ang sarili at magpakalunod sa kwento. Kung may bloopers ang buhay pagtawanan lang at sikaping maging snappy kung medyo lg, talagang lugi.

7:30am Uwian na. Practice lang pala akala ko marathon na ito. Tara na at may trabaho pa tayo.

Maaga pa pero sulit na ang araw—maligayang MERRYercoolest. Good morning sunshine!

rain pain

2010-09-14T03:39:00.000-07:00

Another moonless night,
I wonder why heaven can’t stop crying?
The pain must be too heavy
for the raindrops are really heartbreaking.

----

I question why heaven must suffer
if his love is true, no matter how unconventional
should bring joy and happiness even unrecognized.
Amidst the pain, I hope he will continue to persevere-
after all true love endures.

----

After going through series of in depth experiences
only then he can say that nothing is left.
He should mourn for what he lost
but must allow himself to get up and transcend.
If the moon can't be his true love,
then he must be brave to search again.

----

True, because the only way things can become what they meant to be
is to be open to all opportunities and possibilities.

Made while watching the raindrops, during one September moonless night, in a corner seat of Starbucks Naga. With unpublished stanzas in between(----), words woven by a friend- whose company made me see some light on that dark night. With heartfelt gratitude and beyond.

roadruns

2010-09-08T20:57:00.000-07:00

Imulat ang mata.
Ihanda ang sarili.
Pumunta sa tagpuan.
Tara! simulan na ang takbuhan.

Good morning sunshine!
Smile naman dyan.
Maganda ang umaga
at lalo ka na!

Sa bawat hakbang tingnan ang dinadaanan,
pagmasdan ang nangyayari sa kapaligiran.
Sa tuwing paghinga ng sariwang hangin,
dampi ng biyaya ay langhapin.
Sa pagtahak ng daan sa paroroonan
buksan ang kaisipan
pakiramdaman ang damdamin
ang puso ay palayain.

itaas ang mga bisig
biyaya ng bagong araw
tanggapin
yakapin.

Masaya ang buhay
ipagdiwang--
tuloy ang takbuhan
hanggang finish line!

(Nahabi matapos ang napakalayo at masayang jogging. Para sa mga kaibigan at mga anghel na nakasabay, nakakasama at makakakapiling sa roadruns. Cheers to you—SunshineOriginal, Suitor, Strawberry fields, Forever jam, Angel Gabriel and more.)

3in1

2010-08-27T04:02:00.000-07:00

[suitor+siopao+waves]

I’ve heard many love stories and 3in1 is one of them. Unfortunately, like a great number of heart journeys, theirs belong to the cluster of the busted files.

Siopao is Suitor’s one true love. The story of his love for her goes along way back. On his end, it was a story woven from an entwined series of deep emotional involvement, a young man’s golden dream and a clear call to love.

The First Wave
After months of presentation, declaration and actualization, his love was declined. Yet, it was a love that knew no rejection. It survived being hidden and unrecognized. It bloomed, though betrayed and unrequited. It remained strong after many storms. It survived countless encounters with natural death.

The Second Wave (after two years)
Like some love stories, theirs was given a probable second chance (when her first choice failed). After a long period of time, Siopao sought him out. Once more, Suitor came upon her like a gallant knight. He did everything to give her company during her dark moments of brokenness. In the process, he allowed himself to be more vulnerable yet deeply happy. He was more in love with her. Like mighty warrior, he risked again to face the battle of love. This time he was more familiar with what lies in the battlefield. But no greater pain was that of a loss because of betrayal of someone who deemed to be his best ally. There is no greater pierce of sword that of losing the battle without warning because of hidden realities grounded on the unreasonable principle of persons concerned. However, the dagger that wounded him most was the truth concealed by Siopao herself, a relevant reality she kept unknown to him because she feared of hurting him.

Once more, she cannot love him back because her heart beats for another, his bestfriend. The only and hardest option that was left to him was to stop fighting the battle—not because the possibility of winning is impossible but because that will make her happy.

Apologies from Siopao dcannot placate his tears, cannot appease his broken heart, not even soothe the painful betrayal nor alleviate the throbbing rejection. He was defeated again, squared and cheated by an ally and his beloved.

As Suitor drags his feet and walks on his dark tunnel again, my prayer goes to him. May he be able to cry out his frustrations through tears; in every word muttered in agony may he shed the pain of betrayal; in every move made in brokenness may he be able to gather himself again; may he be able to find the strength and the courage to continue walking.
I cannot blame Siopao for her actions, for I believe that there is no easy way to break somebody’s heart. I pray that she may truly be happy in her decision. I hope that she made the right choice.
I pray that both of them may experience true love--whether in happiness or in pain.
[this is the story i promised to suitor while at starbucks one august moonlit night]

Kwentong Starbucks

2010-08-23T20:23:00.000-07:00

Starbucks—isang lugar na paborito ko sa buong mundo. 2004 ng mahilig ako sa kape. 2005 ng magsimula akong mag kolekta ng starbucks tumblers. Pero ang pinakagusto ko sa lahat ay ang kwentong starbucks kasalo ang mga pusong nakikibahagi nito. ‘Di mabilang, ‘di makalimutan, yakap ng isipan—ang mga kwentong starbucks na nailatha sa buhay ko--
► Marami at makulay na kwentong starbucks kasama ni summer
► Mga kwentong starbucks na takas sa dilim at tanghaling puslit kasama si sunshine
► Up to sawa na kwentong starbucks kasama si computer wizard
► Q and A kwentong starbucks kasama si manila girl at tumbelina
► Lovefilled kwentong starbucks kasama ang beloved twins towers at donya
► Makabuluhang kwentong starbucks kasama ang mga kaibigang reserved at may belo.
► Comedy at walang kupas na kwentong starbucks kasama ang very old friends.
►Relaxing at usapang puso, kwentong starbucks kasama si strawberry at mga kaibigan.
► Masaya at walang katulad na kwentong starbucks kasama ang witches.
Inaabangan ko ng buong galak na mahabi ang kwentong starbucks kasama ang anim na napiling mga kaibigan [kung sa tingin mo isa ka dito, sabihin mo lang kung kelan ka pwede at treat ko ang starbucks coffee mo :-)]—-
► Siopao’s Suitor—ganyan talaga pag nagmamahal, may luha at pait, tanggapin kasi dakila at wagas ang iyong pag-ibig. Nandito lang ako kakampi at karamay. Masaya ako bilang ate mo.
► Accidental Angel—Salamat sa mga oras ng pagsama at pagdamay. Sa minsanang mga araw ng luha at gabi ng pagkabalisa salamat at nariyan ka. Sana makatulong rin ako sa proseso ng buhay mo. Panalangin ko na sagutin Niya ang lahat mong dasal.
► Mysterious George—matagal na kitang kakilala pero hanggang ngayon misteryoso pa rin ang iyong buong pagkatao, inaabangan ko ang malalim at seryosong kwentuhan kasama ka. Minsan ka lang tumawa pero lubos mo akong napapasaya.
► Ms. Big-Time Dubai—matagal na tayong ‘di nagkikita at sobrang miss na kita. Sana malapit na ang oras ng pag-uwi mo gusto na kitang makasama.
► Best Marigold—sa panatag at payapang puso at isipan ikaw ang kakwentuhan, isang pagdiriwang para sa biyaya ng magandang pagkakaibigan. Salamat sa lahat, ate ko.
► Mr. Cannon—sa mga taon na hindi tayo nagkasama, nananatiling kaibigan kita. Salamat at malapit ka na, sana madalas na kitang makasama. Hangad ko na lubos kang maging maligaya at dasal ko ang hiling ng iyong puso.

Hangad ko rin na madalas makasama sa kwentong starbucks (pero hindi ko na ito libre, hahaha)ang mga tao na minsan nang naging bahagi ng kwentong kape ng buhay ko.
► Buko juice society (para maiba naman, try natin ang kape, baka malasing din tayo)
► The pigs (tara at magpakalunod tayo sa tawa at saya, patuloy ang baboik life!)
► Dr R at residents of pooh (old and new) kasama si marigold at maya.
► Witches, warlocks and kids (bagong lugar sa ika 14 na taon ng ating pagkakaibigan)
► Lovelines (to the moon and back I held you close to my heart)
► tcb* buddies at mga gintong kaibigan sa ateneo
► Hairbrush, lolas&boylets at mga piling kaibigan na natagpuan sa landas ng buhay.Sana maulit ang kwentong starbucks namin ni summer, sunshine, computer wizard at super B.

Masaya akong nag-aabang na sana ang bawat tasa ng kape ay magbigay daan upang maipanganak ang bagong kwentong starbucks, pwede ring balikan ang mga kwentong matagal nag ‘di napag-usapan at dugtungan ang mga kwentong nalampasan lagyan ng katapusan.H
anda na ako at ang aking puso, makibahagi kasama mo at ang kape..
One choco chip frap for applethea

stop over

2010-08-22T18:07:00.000-07:00

Hindi mawawala sa byahe, lalo na yung malalayong paglalakbay. Para saan nga ba ang stop over?
Maka pagpahinga ang sasakyan.
Tugunan ang panawagan ng kalikasan.
Punan ang kumakalam na sikmura.
Ipikit ang inaantok na mata.
Ituwid ang mga paa.
Bumili ng pasalubong.
At kung ano pa man.

Dapithapon, nakaupo sa isang sulok ng McDonalds habang naghihintaysa inorder na cokefloat at fries, naitanong ko sa aking sarili ano nga ba ang stop over sa buhay ko?

Marami nang stop over ang napagdaanan ko.
Stop over para itanong sa sarili, nasa tamang landas ba ako?
Ito ba ang pangarap ko?
Masaya ba ako sa ginagawa ko?
Stop over para pakingggan ang saloobin ano nga ba ang makabubuti?
Alin ang nararapat piliin?
Ano ba ang tamang gawain?
Stop over para manahimik.
Balikan ang nakaraan, matuto ng mga aral sa karanasan.
Mag-alay ng pasasalamat.
Magplano ng kinabukasan.
Manatili, magdasal at magnilay.
Huminto at hayaan ang sariling umiyak sa pagkabigo.
Maging masaya at ipagdiwang ang munting tagumpay.
Mamahinga sandali upang magkaipon ng lakas.Hay… ito marahil ang mga dahilan sa mga stop over ng buhay ko.
Ikaw ano ang kwentong stop-over mo?

18.VII.2010y

2010-08-18T20:08:00.000-07:00

Wohooow! another Wednesday!

I started my day early. Despite the cloudy sky at dawn,
I had a sweaty road run downtown.
I attended the morning Mass at the school chapel,
and proceeded to the café for a hearty breakfast shared with a friend
One of my favorite song tuned up the music for the day —swept away.

I went to the office with smiles and excitement for the day ahead.

The lines woven in the pdi article I read two Sundays ago keep on repeating inside my mind specially when I learned last night that a gentleman sent a reply to the letter, of which I look forward of reading the soonest possible time.
I had a soft copy of the “she letter”, got it from the pdi website but I what I want to read is the “he letter”. Too bad, I missed the newspaper last Sunday due to a volunteer work in the upland barangay. This letter-struck moments maybe encouraged by Ms. Honey’s tagged in the fb note or the conversation with Mr. Kua last night or maybe the idea floated during breakfast to discuss it in his class today.
True to his plan, Mr Kua brought me the “she letter” article cut out from the newspaper and requested me to write it in manila papers for his class. He showed me the “he letter” yet refused to let me read it.
As I began writing the “she letter” I found it uncomfortable to write in my own desk so I went to another office. I’ve written every word of the letter in three and one fourth pieces of manila paper in the solitude of pooh corner.
Little did I know that as I rewrite the letter it would stir something within me, creating new waves of swirls that I can’t explain yet brought some degree of excitement within that I can’t name.

Waaaah.

The stirrings inspired to write my own version of the "she letter".

Dearest You,

I admit that unlike many, I did not spent many hours searching, asking and dreaming about who you are, what do you do and where you are? Not that I do not like the idea of you but maybe because my priorities do not include the subject of you. I admit for many years I never gave much attention if you really exist or the possibility of your presence in my life.

Inspired by the two love letters I read, allow me to write this article. Pardon me for I will not be able to write assurances as to how I will love you the way she did but let me share something about myself. Hopefully, this will be relevant information that you might find reasonable to consider if the chance of weaving the story of us become possible or probable. Just in case, as need arises.

I am a positive person, care free, candid and spontaneous. Changes and surprises give me excitement. I have the streak of being an OC. I choose carefully my battles and weave carefully my strategic plans. I discern my choices, options and opportunities. There are also times that I have negative feelings about myself, settle for mediocrity and indifferent to changes. Sometimes, I am impatient, impulsive and stubborn.Sometime in the future maybe, you and I will be better than who we are now. Hopefully by that time, our differences will highlight opportunities of compromise that even in our lights and shadows we can create beautiful fusion.

All my life I’ve been raised in a protective love shield by my family of which I am deeply grateful. I do not have MMK episodes in my life story, yet I know the realities of life’s drama. There had been few selected moments that put my strengths into test but then I believe that there is courage in me that makes me strong to transcend during era of difficulties. Brokenness, rejection and loneliness seldom occur in my life yet I trust myself not to crumble in testing times. There are days that I soaked in tears, I curled in solitude, I doubt and I fail; but then I hold on to hope that all shall pass by and I can make it.When our time comes, I hope that we will be both emotionally mature to be real to our emotions, we may have vulnerabilities and shortcomings but I pray that we bring out always the best in each other.

I am blessed to have known many good friends through the years and I nurture clusters of genuine friendship. I treasure friendship built on trust and openness. I am not specifically attached to them but I value genuine connections of lives and hearts. I had given my heart totally to love once, experienced the pain of letting go and survived the struggle of moving on. I beleive, I am whole again. I turned down two opportunities to love again because of fear, personality differences and non-negotiable terms. Now, I believe that I learned from all of them. I don’t have regrets, indeed all is grace. You may not be my first love and I'm not yours, but may we be able to love another enough to make it lasts. May our hearts share the same vision and may we become the best partners in life.

I am fond of early road runs, long walks, mass every day, happy meals, tea or coffee stories and bucket list. I love to smile always. I laugh out loud and real. I have passion for light conversations, deep communications, signals and methaphoric story lines, interesting ideas, serious dialogues, strong principles, realistic convictions and heart talks. I like, air gaps, silent tranquil moments and solitary moon visits. I’m into feel-good movies, I giggle over cheesy lines, I swoon over love stories, my heart beats up during thriller films and I do not watch horror ones. My interests include reading books, psp, soccer (basketball too) and gardening (cooking?). I sing off tune but I can draw. I cannot play hula hoop yet I'm good in skipping rope. I love adventure travels and road trips. I do write, articulate my thoughts, name my emotions and listen to the stirrings within. I am responsible for my actions and committed to my passion. I am stubborn, persistent, playful, corny, sassy, eccentric and weird. I like sunshine, the moon makes my heart jump and I see myself as one of the bright stars. I am proud that I am scarred and truly beautiful. I celebrate life the way I know how and you live yours. When the probability opens that we can share a life together may we be supportive of each other and may we inspire one another. May we protect each other's interest and together, may we continue to aspire for the best.

I deeply love God. I embrace His Will, though at times with resistance and reluctance. I also love Mary, Joseph and the Saints. My life is a cycle of death and rebirth, a continuous purification. I am not perfect and will never be, but I fully embrace my fate to become the best that I can be. I commit myself to live out my essence and purpose as a person. I have great dreams and I pray to achieve all of them.

If this voyage of life leads me to you, I will be happy, by then, I will look at the moon and he will smile at me. I’ll bow my head in thanksgiving to the Maker. I will trust you my heart and will allow you to hold my hand and we will walk side by side to the path of love.

for all that will be,
I remain to be,
Me

[inspired by the column Roots and Wings, PDI, August 8 and 15, 2010. thank you Mr. Kua for the "he letter" and more for asking me to rewrite the "she letter". toinks!]

ballgame

2010-08-16T01:33:00.000-07:00

ano ang mas mainam
ang kasama ka na pilit tinatago ang pakiramdam
o malayo ka na ‘di mawaglit sa isipan?

ano ang mas madali para sa tulirong puso
mang-iwan para malimot ng lubusan
o maghintay na ikaw ay iwanan?

ano ang mas mabuting gawin
sabihin lahat na nasa damdamin
o kung makagugulo lamang patuloy na ilihim?

Tatlumpong araw na akong nagtatanong
hanggang ngayon,
bola ano ka nga ba?

Mag isip.
Makiramdam.
Magnilay.
Magdasal.
Magmasid.

Hayaan lang.
Huwag pigilan.

Yakapin ng buo ang pakiramdam.
Pakinggan ang tibok ng puso.
Tulutang dumaloy ang luha.
Ibigay ang sarili sa bawat ngiti.
Patuloy na magtanong.
Maghangad ng kasagutan.
Magdasal, magdasal at magdasal.

Panghawakan ang katotohanan
ang lahat lilipas lang
darating ang araw
lahat ay maiintindihan.

sige lang, sige lang
tuloy ang laban

ang bola ay buwan
ang buwan ay bola.

Moon story three

2010-08-13T18:10:00.000-07:00

May mga gabi na wala ang buwan. Kapag tumingala sa langit tanging mga tala lamang ang naaaninag sa karimlan. Nakakalungkot may kulang.

Nasaan kaya ang buwan?
Sa kanyang pag-iisa ano kaya ang kanyang pakiramdam?
Panatag kaya siya na walang kasama?
Sa pagkabalisa nagnanais din kaya siya na may makausap?
O baka may pumapatak na luha sa kanyang bawat pagkurap?

subalit pwede namang

Masaya siya na mag-isang nagmumuni-muni?
Niyayakap niya ang makahulugang sandali na maupo sa isang tabi at pagmasdan ang mga pangyayari?
Maaari naman na may ngiting gumuguhit sa kanyang labi tuwing naaalala ang mga masasayang gunita?
O sa katahimikan malayang tumitibok ang kanyang puso at nararamdaman ang kalayaan sa bawat paghinga?

Alam ko ang ganitong pakiramdam.
Ang lungkot at saya sa pag-iisa.
Ang paghahangad at kapanatagan habang nasa isang tabi.
Ang luha at ngiti habang nagtatago.

Ramdam ko ang ganitong damdamin sapagkat sa mga oras na gusto ong mapag-isa, manatili sa isang tabi, magtago…

Ang pinaka medaling paraan ay magsabi na
Ako ay nasa buwan

[august’s moonless nights. in silence. embracing the solitude. waiting]

tcb*

2010-08-11T22:03:00.000-07:00

The door is open come in.
You are welcome, feel at home.
Find your place in the couch.
Take a seat in your favorite spot.

Lean on. Sit back.
Deeply breath. Relax.

Order taken.
Wait.
Here it is.
Smile. Smile back.
Touch. It’s hot.
Inhale. Rare aroma.
Sip. Beautiful heaven.

Let the pleasant conversation flow.
Allow the relaxing dynamics to carry you through.
Speak up your mind.
Feel the emotions.
Act spontaneously.
Share conviction. Resonate with appreciation.
Sense the heartbeats. Listen to the stirrings within.
Be candid. Be sassy.
Be real. Be free.
Here, you are who you are,
deeply loved with your strengths and scars.
This is your place.
This is you.

Touch. Inhale. Sip.
Feed you mind with wisdom.
Let your heart feel what is real.
Allow your spirit to embrace and celebrate the magnificent gift of life.
over
a cup of hot green tea with calamansi, sago and gulaman
flavored with mint/lemongrass/honey/.

Touch. Inhale. Sip.
This is life. Live it. Love it.

summer*

2010-08-11T01:24:00.000-07:00

Summer is one of my favorite time of the year and my favored season next to Christmas. In my life, summer means vibrant colors, happy adventures and special people.

I had many colorful and exciting april-may stories. The best is about Summer.

Remembering Summer.

We met in an eden at the middle of the metro where
chirping birds and noisy crickets are odd music to the ears,
tall grasses and big trees are uncommon sights
moonlight and starry sky are rare scenes.

Summer captured my attention at first smile. The meeting was unplanned. Circumstances were both a surprise and a discovery, both unfolded beautifully. For one heart was asking fate many questions and another soul was searching for directions.

Indeed it was rare, free fall, innocent love.

We made beautiful music under the heat of the blazing sun. We walked countless times along with vibrant summer blooms. In the serenity of our eden, we shared our life stories-- the struggles of winning, the pain of losses, tireless searching, the joy in finding. And while enjoying the harvests of the season, two hearts discovered the magic , the bliss of falling in love.

After many years, the memories of summer linger not anymore with pains of separation, no more struggles of letting go and empty of difficulties of moving on. These days, I remember Summer with his gentle heart who taught me to love genuinely to the point of setting free.

which one is better?

2010-08-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

i read this from somewhere.
copied and read it again.
somehow it makes sense.

there is a difference between goodbye and letting go
GOODBYE is
I'll see you again when I'm ready to hold your hand and you're ready to hold mine
LETTING GO is
I'll miss your hand but I realized it's not mine to hold and will never hold it again.

i asked myself:
in what situations goodbye is the option?
in what circumstances letting go is the solution?

for a
confuse mind
broken heart
withered spirit
rejected soul

will there ever be a better option between goodbye and letting go
when hope is an enemy and the closest ally?

kwento ng gitna

2010-08-05T21:59:00.000-07:00

PAGHAHANGAD
I am a leaf and you are my tree
speak up and talk to me.
Hold my hand and make me stay
do not allow the wind to take me away.

PAGPAPALAYA
I pray that you will be able to know the genuine
and right path to fully live your life.
No matter how difficult it will be,
your happiness is more than enough for me.

ang mahalaga ay kung paano nilubos ang paghahangad,
ang importante ay gaano naging bukas sa pagpapalaya
at paano ibinigay ang sarili sa pagyakap sa KWENTO NG GITNA.

Moon story two

2010-08-02T00:42:00.000-07:00

Natapos na naman ang isang araw ng paglalakbay. Maayos namang naitawid ang maghapon. Sa pagsapit ng isang takipsilim ‘di ko alam ko saan ang daang pupuntahan.

Ano kaya ang bukas?
Paano kaya ang gabi lilipas?

Dumating si Gabriel at nagtanong kung gusto ko kumain? Malamang gutom na ako kaya naman emo. Nakasalubong namin ang maraming kakilala at napadaan sa maraming kwentuhan. Tumigil kami at naghintay sa mga kaibigang makakasama sa hapag kainan. Ang tagal naman kumakalam na ang aking sikmura.

Sa katahimikan…
Ngumiti sa akin ang buwan.

Masayahin akong tao at hindi mahal ang aking ngiti. Ito ay napakamura na halos ipamahagi ko na sa lahat. Siguro ang isa sa pinakamaganda kong ngiti ay naibigay ko sa buwan ngayon. Lubos akong nabighani sa ganda nya okey lang malipasan ng gutom dahil halos makalimutan ko na ang hapunan sa ganda ng tanawing aking nasilayan.

Nag sms ako kay Great Poet na nasa kanluran ng Pilipinas. Natawa ako ng tinanong nya ako kung ano ang buwan ngayon sa akin. Marahil kilala nya ako na ang simpleng ngiti ko ay talagang may pinaghuhugutang malamim na dahilan at siguro duda na rin sya sino ba talaga ang buwan.

Sobrang ganda ng buwan ,lubos niya akong napapasaya .
Pero dahil sya ang buwan ‘di pwedeng angkinin at hawakan
kaya lulubusin ko na lang na siya ay tingnan.
Siguro may mga pagkakataon na ganyan
kahit gaano man na sya gustuhin hanggang tanaw kolang.

Natawa rin ako sa reply niya sa akin ganoon din daw ang buwan sa akin.

Sa bukang liwayway na lang ako magtatanong kung paano ang bukas. Masaya ang gabi at ito na siguro ang paraan kung paano ang dilim lilipas.

Muli akong nabighani sa ganda ng buwan. Kakaiba talaga sya tila ba sa sulyap lang nya ang puso ay dinuduyan sa tuwa.

Napasulyap ako kay Gabriel at ngumiti sya sa akin. Sabi nya masaya talaga ngayon ang buwan. Ang sagot ko, oo alam ko, kasi yun din ang sabi ng aking puso. Malakas na halakhak ang sagot nya sa akin, pero alam ko sya ay kumbinsido.

Muli, ngumiti sa akin ang buwan.

bola

2010-07-29T03:08:00.000-07:00

...

ang hirap lagyan ng kataga ang pakiramdam
‘di madali maghabi ng katha upang mailarawan
ang kwento ng puso.

ang buwan ay bola
ang bola ay buwan.

...

[salamat sa anghel na dumating upang ako ay pakinggan kahit aksidente ang pagkatanggap ng panawagan]

Moon story one

2010-07-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

Nakalipas na ang mag hapon na puno ng biyaya. Masaya ako na nakasama ang siyam na mortal na namuhay at umibig dito sa lupa. Nakibahagi ako sa mga grasya na kanilang nakamit. Narinig ko ang mga kwento ng kanilang mga naging pagsubok at masaya akong makita kung gaano sila puno ng pag-asa sa bagong panimula. Pero bakit may lungkot pa rin sa aking puso na di ko mawari kung saan nagmumula?

Dapithapon na naman.
Masinagan ko kaya ang buwan?
Masaya kaya siya?
Kapiling niya kaya ang kanyang tala?

Kanina pa kami ng anghel na kasama ko dito sa hintayan ang tagal dumating ng aming kaibigan. Matapos ang mahaba at masayang kumustahan ng mga kwento ng maghapon, tahimik kaming nagmasid sa kawalan. Tila ninanamnam ang kapanatagan na natagpuan dito sa isang sulok ng magulong mundo.

Sa katahimikan ng pagmamasid sa mga kaganapan sa kapaligiran aking nasilayan ang kalangitan. Naroon ang buwan nag-iisa sa kalawakan na nababalot ng pagbabadya ng pag-ulan. Sa likod ng buwan ,sa dako roon, pero di naman kalayuan nandoon ang tala, nag iisa.

Lalo akong nalungkot sa tanawing aking nasilayan.
Bakit parang magkagalit sila?
Sa gitna ng malawak na langit bakit di sila magkasama. Bakit?

Ang sabi ng anghel sa tabi ko--ganoon talaga minsan kailangang mapag isa. Makapag isip. At subukan ang lakas na tuparin ang landas kung ano ba talaga ang importansya ng mga bagay na mahalaga.

Ang hirap noon, mas nalungkot ang aking puso. Ako ay napa buntong hininga… pero sana nga ganoon. Sana nga..♥

♥letter

2010-07-26T19:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Nanay,

I’m here again, trying to resonate and decipher all that is happening. But I think this time my heart carries a different message.

Today is a special day. I’m sitting next to George. Rare moment. One of a kind. I’m happy that we’re together it is all because of you. Thank you. Your way of intervening in my life keeps me astound as always, your ways are full of surprises.

We are both silent now. I don’t know what he is telling you. He may be reluctant to come here today but I’m happy that he did. He even told me that persons like me are meant to influence him in a good way. I’m glad. I hope that he will develop a deep sense of closeness to you. I wish that he will also find comfort sharing to you his thoughts and his life stories. I would love to see him smile often. Nanay, please make George happy.

For all, thank you sincerely.

2010-07-22T00:34:00.000-07:00

One day, one step.
I asked myself what will I do?
What do I want?

Four days, four steps.
I chose to stay
allowing myself to linger
adhering to the opportunity to be present here
embracing the possibility
to risk if necessary.

Six days, six steps.
I looked around, you’re still there
a silent-reassuring presence
your company gives me encouragement.

Today.
I hope for all things to be true
but still,
I don’t have the courage to tell you.

In the coming days, after many steps.
If you still have the heart, speak up
ask me again one day soon
maybe then, I can really be honest
I’ll be able to tell you
Who is really my moon?

[for my treasured moon. may your light continue to shine in my dark nights. and the smiles we share with each other goes a long way. from dusk to dawn and beyond-- i'm staying]

tulirong ♥

2010-07-18T02:27:00.000-07:00

kung meron kang isang tao na gustung-gusto mo sa buhay pero konting panahon na lang ang meron ka upang ito ay makasama ano ang pipiliin mo--lubusin ang pananatili, subukang lubusang magtaya o simulang turuan na ang sariling magpalaya?

Hang Over

2010-07-08T03:06:00.000-07:00

Hang over

[para kay guru R, strawberry at sa mga nagmahal ng totoo kahit nabigo]

Akala ko buko juice lang solve na ang lahat, magiging okey na. Total ito na ata yung isa sa pinakamagaling na naimbento upang maging comfort food. Pero matapos mag pakalunod sa madrama at mahabang usapan may tinatawag pa lang hang over.

Matagal ko nang sinabi na ayoko na. Tapos na. End of Contract na. Erase na, Delete na. Kandado na. Pero kahit gaano kasakit ang alaala mo ay pilit nananatili. Tila ba ayaw kumawala kahit pilit na tinataboy ng mga luha. Mahigpit na kumakapit kahit lubusan nang winawaglit ng isip.

Oo aaminin ko minsan sa pagtunog ng cellphone ko umaasang ang boses mo ang magsasabi ng hello. Pigil ko ang sarili na huwag kang itext. Minsan na ring binura ang number mo pero bakit kahit pilit limutin ay memoryado ko pa rin. Tinitikis ko lang na ifolow ka sa twitter. Pero minsan, dinadalaw ko pa rin ang fs, fb, multiply at blog mo. Aaminin ko na may konting pag-asa pa rin sa puso na sana ay mabanggit man lang ako sa entries at status messages mo. Nakakalungkot din pala ang malamang okey ka na kahit hindi mo ako kasama. Buti na lang bihira tayo magkatagpo sa downtown--salamat na lang siguro medyo magaling ako umiwas o marahil iba na talaga ang iyong landas. Pero tuwing sisikat ang araw at magsasabi ako ng “good morning sunshine” hiling ko na naririnig mo. At ang liwanag ng buwan na nagpapangiti sa akin sana ay natatanaw mo rin. Gaano man kahirap at kasakit, kailangan kong tanggapin na kahit may araw, buwan, bituin at bahaghari ikaw pa rin ang mundo ko.

Akala ko buko juice lang solve na. Hindi pala gaya ng hang over na masakit sa ulo, sa letting go at moving on ay para bang nilalagnat ang puso ko.

Nung simula pa man, alam ko na hindi sigurado ang patutunguhan. Tila isa akong sundalo na nahaharap sa digmaan –kapayapaan ang hiling ko ngunit ang paraan ay digmaan. Ganoon din ang puso—nagnanais magmahal ngunit tila dadaan pa sa napakahirap na daan. Kagaya sa digmaan hindi alam kung magwawagi sa minimithi. Ang tanging pinanghahawakan ko ay ang damdaming nag-aapoy sa puso.

Tiyak na lilipas din ito kung kelan at paano ko itatawid yun ang hindi sigurado. Hay! itagay ko na lang baka sakaling kahit saglit man lang maibsan ang kalungkutan. Bukas ko na lang haharapin ang hangover.

Via Yang

FORMULA 1

2010-06-28T00:53:00.000-07:00

proximity+consistency+frequency =sweetest downfall

PROXIMITY
Palaging malapit. Abot kamay. Kadikit ng balikat. Magkahalikang mga siko. Meters, feet o inches lang ang pagitan kung sa geographical location pwedeng maging landmark at maging point of reference. Kaya mag-ingat kasi kumbaga sa lindol napakalapit mo sa epicenter.

CONSISTENCY
Napaka regular. Parang kalendaryo na alam mo na ang kasunod ng Marso ay Abril. Parang isang linggo talagang 7 araw lang, palaging Lunes ang simula at palaging huli ang Linggo. Steady kumbaga. Expectable ika nga. Pwedeng asahan kasi ayon sa karanasan reliable talaga.

FREQUENCY
Madalas at malimit. Parang orasan 24/7. Round the clock shift kumbaga. ‘Di lang isang beses o minsan ito yung tinatawag na double-repreated-redundancy-for the nth time-again na style. Paulit-ulit na palagi.

SAKLAW AT LIMITASYON
Ang formula1 ay isa lamang sa maraming formula sa mundo. Ito ay hindi mathematical equation o ano pa man na scientific formula na absolute solution. Ito ay experiential at relative na formula na kung sa reseta ay naaayon lamang sa mga nakaka relate o identify. Hindi ito universal pero ito ay particular.

MGA SINTOMAS:
♥ Siya ay tao na bahagi na ng buhay mo sa araw-araw na tila ba hindi sisikat ang araw sa umaga at wala ang sinag ng buwan sa gabi kung wala siya. Paulit-ulit pero hindi ka nagsasawa.
♥ Madalas kasama exclusive company man yan o hindi. Wala ka nang variety sa mga taong nakakapiling kung hindi siya at siya.
♥ Palaging katext, puro mensahe niya ang laman ng inbox at minsan paulit-ulit mong binabasa. Unlicall na walang putol pag siya ang kausap.
♥ Walang gana sa pagkain pa di siya kapiling.
♥ Sinakop na nya ang diwa mo at nakatira na rin siya sa puso mo.
♥ Kahit sa text lang o tawag sa telepono may kiliti at tuwa na sa puso mo. Ang lahat nyang sinasabi kahit hindi joke tuwang-tuwa ka at bawat detalye ay talagang importante.
♥ Kasama na siya sa mga adhikain at pangarap mo sa buhay at nag eexpect ka din na sana kasama ka din sa mga strategic plans ng buhay nya.
♥ Nag dadala ng saya at kapanatagan sa puso ang malaman na mahalaga ka sa buhay niya.
♥ Inspirasyon siya sa mga ginagawa mo.
♥ Kahit medyo maedad ka na may kilig paring dumadaloy sa ugat mo at nagbibigay dahilan sa puso mong lumukso sa tuwa. Malakas ang spark ika nga.

MGA MUNGKAHING IKAGAGALING:
♥ Pag-isipan kung patungo ba ito sa kaganapan ng lubos na pagmamahalan. Hindi naman sa pagiging assuming pero mahalagang tingnan din ang kinabukasan kasi sayang ang effort kung walang patutunguhan.
♥ Tanugin ang sarili kung nakakabuti ba ito sa pagkatao at tama ba ang landas na tinatahak. Personal growth at growing together ay nararapat busisiin.
♥ Hindi masama ang umibig ng lubos ngunit ang pagmamahal ay malaki ang kaibahan sa katangahan. Maging matalino sa pagpili. Maging matatag sa pananatili. Maging matapang sa pagpapalaya. At bukasan din ang sarili sa relapse.
♥ Hayaan ang sarili na mag-hangad, mag taya, manatili, at magpalaya. Ganyan ang pag –ibig hindi diwa o gawain ito ay buong karanasan na kailangan daanan ng buong sarili, damdamin at isipan.
♥ Maging malaya sa pag-pili at pag mamahal kung masasataktan man dahil sa busilak na pag ibig akuin ang luha at ituring na biyaya.
♥ Palaging magdasal ang tunay na pagmamahal at grasya ng Dios at nag mumula sa Kanya.
♥ Lubusin ang pagiging tao imibig ng totoo.

Tong-Its

2010-05-06T02:15:00.000-07:00

Laro. Libangan. Bisyo. Laban.

Dati ko nang alam ang tong-its. Hindi ko na nga matandaan kung pa’no ko ito natutunan. Ngunit dahil matagal na halos ito ay aking nakalimutan. Kaya kailangan ko ng refresher course bago muli akong maglaro. Muling aralin ano ba ang mga moves na dapat at diskarte para mabuo ang mga baraha.

Laro. Nakakatutuwa, nakakalibang, magandang pampalipas ng oras. Bonding sa barkada. At ehersisyo rin sa kamay. Mainam din na gawain para maging matalas magbilang. Mind game at diskarteng swabe.

Libangan. Nakakaaliw na pwedeng maging katuwaan. May nakataya bang piso o tatanungin ng nosebleed na tanong ang talo? O kantyaw lang sa talunan sapat na. O kaya naman di ka kasali sa sunod na hatian ng baraha.

Bisyo. Kung kalabisan na at nakasasama. Kung may diskarteng madaya at panlilinlang. Kapag ito ay naging natatanging paraan at dahilan ng mga bagay bagay. Marahil hindi na ito maganda—kailangang aralin na kung paano lumaya sa hiwaga ng baraha.

Laban. Oo nga naman sa hatian pa lang ng baraha nagnanais na mahawakan ang magandang kumbinasyon. Swerte nga ba o diskarte? Ano man ang dahilan at paraan patas kang lumaban. Nasa bandang huli tatawa at mag sasabi ng “tong-its” o kaya naman maging mapagmatyag na kung imposible na lumamang ka na lang sa bilangan. Basta hanggang huli tuloy mo ang laban.

Ang tong-its parang pag-ibig. Laro. Libangan. Bisyo. Laban. Kung ano ang makabubuti at tunay patuloy na panghawakan. Gaano man ito nag bibigay ng ligaya ito ay higit at mas makahulugan sa laro at libangan. Kung sobra na ito marahil ay bisyo na dapat nang pakawalan. Matalo ka man o manalo huwag kang susuko hanggang hindi pa tapos ang laban. Gaya ng pag-ibig gaano ka man kagaling minsan hindi pa rin dahilan upang mapanalunan ang bawat laban. Ang puso gaya ng baraha may kakaibang hiwaga at mahika.

Ano ang kwentong tong-its mo?

Relapse

2010-05-06T02:09:00.000-07:00

Akala mo okey ka na. Buo na ang desisyon mo. Okey lang na wala na. Nakamit mo na ang grasya matapos ang mahabang dasalan. Tuyo na ang panyo paglipas ng maraming beses na pag hugas ng mata sa walang katapusang pag buhos ng luha. Yun ang akala mo…hanggang sa--

Relapse.
Natatangi o isa sa maraming “stop over” sa proseso o mahalagang kwento sa buhay ng tao. Siguro ang relapse ay isang paalala na meron ka prosesong pinagdaraanan, pakikibakang ninanais panalunan o bahagi ng paglalakbay na nais nang lampasan.

O pwede din marahil na maging dahilan upang--

♥ Maghintay sa nakasanayang pagtawag niya sa telepono
♥ Gamiting muli ang dating number baka sakaling may mag text
♥ Muling maramdaman at sabihing gaya ng dati “ikaw pa rin”
♥ Palayain at sabihin ang katotohan sa puso na-- mahal mo pa rin (dahil first love o true love)
♥ Balikan ang nadamang pait at hapdi sa dibdib nang wala na sya
♥ O kaya muling umasa na baka maulit pa o baka naman may magbago

Ang mga masidhi bang pakiramdam at pagnanais sa relapse--

♥ Ay sadyang bang pagsubok kung talagang okey ka na at kaya mo nang pangatawanan ang mga desisyong pinag tibay ng maraming dasal. Kaya nang yakapin ang mga realizations na maraming beses mong iniyakan. At muling subukan ang tatag ng damdamin at katapangan ng puso.
♥ Pwede din sigurong tingnan na ito ay regression matapos ang partial recovery, pero okey lang din yun kasi pansamantala lang naman (sana din ay tumagal) at patuloy pa rin ang gamutan hanggang sa tuluyang maghilom.
♥ Ito ay isa marahil na backslide after an apparent improvement… siguro para mas maging sensitibo at desidido na mag patuloy sa paghakbang papalayo gaano man kahirap sa puso.

Ano pa man ang kahulugan at pakiramdam mo sa relapse.. bahagi pa rin ito ng buhay gaya ng paghahangad, pagtataya at pananatili. Alam na ng puso ko at ng puso mo-- na bago lubusang magpalaya mahalaga na pag daanan ang importanteng paglalakbay -- ang relapse.

♥

2009-12-14T18:11:00.000-08:00

Sa ilalim ng mga tala ng una tayong magkita
Isang matamis na ngiti nag hudyat ng simula
Nag anyaya upang gumuhit ng ngiti sa labi
Kwentong pag-ibig ay nahabi.

Isang simpleng pagtatagpo
Hindi planadong pagkatataon
Isang taong naghaharap sa pagbabago
At isang pusong nagtatanong.

Sa mga pagkakataon na nag-kausap
Doon napukaw ang mga damdamin
Hindi man ninais at pinangarap
Doon nagising ang mga hangarin

Ang bawat salita ay paanyaya
Lahat ng ngiti ay saliw ng musika
Damdaming natututlog biglang napukaw
Pag –ibig o pag-ibig nga ay ikaw.

Masasayang araw ay nahabi
Nang dalawang puso sa pag-ibig nagpunyagi
Ngunit dumating ang panahon ng pag-pili
Pagkalito, balisa at sawi.

Maraming luha ang dumaloy
dagok sa puso’y kinaya at tinikom
Pag-ibig na wagas dapat bang ituloy
O itigil at pagsumikapang ang sugat ay mahilom?

Maraming araw na ang lumipas
Ang mga pait at luha ay natapos
Marahil tanggap na ang landas
Nang pag-ibig na minsa’y niyapos.

Salamat salamat sa’yo dakilang puso
Matino at wagas na pagkatao
Sa minsa’y nagkasama at nagsuyo
Tunay na nagmahal ang puso.

Hindi man pang habangbuhay ang pagmamahalan
Alam kong wagas at dakila naman
Ang dahilan ng pagpapalaya
pag alay ng buhay at lubos na pagtataya.

Papuri sa Dios sa biyayang handog
Sa pagmamahal at pag irog
Sa pait at lungkot
Lahat ng grasya kahit may takot.

Ngayong mag-kaiba na ang landas
dalangin ng bawat isa’y kasiyahan
Sa puso’y tuwa, isipa’y kapanatagan
Lahat naging makabuluhan.

Ang Dios nga ay hindi maramot
Kasi ika’y sa akin ipinahiram
Ngayo’y isinasauli nang may kasiyahan
Kasi yun ang halaga ng wagas na pagmamahalan.

21.XI.2008y

cheesinesm series 1

2009-09-23T19:20:00.000-07:00

cheesinesm--umaapaw na chessy statements na pwedeng magpatalon ng puso, humaplos ng damdamin at pumukaw ng emosyon. Maaring sabihing corny at emo pero lahat pwedeng makarelate dito-noon, ngayon, bukas, minsan, madalang at madalas.

Sabi nila sayang ang panahon na ibinibigay ko sa’yo. Bakit kelan ba naging kawalan na hayaan ang sarili kong maging maligaya kahit minsan lang?

Hindi ako mapapagod na sabihin sa’yong miss na kita kasi yun lang ang alam kong paraan para maramdaman kong malapit ka at magkasama tayo.

Kapag sinabi kong mahal kita hindi ko sinasabing maging akin ka. Ang nais ko lamang ay maging sa’yo ako.

Ano mang pagkalito ang naidulot ko sa buhay mo--hindi ko sinasadya. Sa anumang pasya na pillin mo, huwag mong ikabahala--huwag mo akong gawing dahilan. Bagkus piliin mo yung hangad nang iyong puso--kung saan ka masaya, sapat na sa akin yun.

Sapat na napapasaya mo ako para masagot ang tanong kung gaano ka kahalaga sa akin.

Hindi ko naman sinasadyang mahulog ang loob ko sa’yo wala lang akong makitang dahilan upang hindi kita magustuhan.

Bucket List (series 1)

2009-07-27T03:35:00.001-07:00

organizer/planner is part of my life- to sort things out and to prioritize schedules and basically to make my life easier.
the first page i write on is always the last page of my organizer. i filled it out with my bucket list- things i want to do, varying from great to non-sense, significant to unnecessary and even impossible to weird.
the bottom line is i want to experience them in a year’s time. i am now halfway of year 2009. herewith is a parcel of that bucket list and glimpses of tresured stories on how they happened.

SPLURGED. SPLURGED.SPLURGED. I bought a pair of levis jeans and a pair of crocs in one day. i am an advocate of “go local. buy pinoy.” hehe maybe i was not myself then. but i love wearing them.

VISIT A SHRINE. i did. I had a chance to visit Simala in Cebu province with my IIPOD classmates. It was a long trip going to the mountain-we sang and chatted going up. We slept all the way down. It was a heart moving experience of community in faith and boundless hope in God’s providence. deep within i know miracles do happened.
STARBUCKS TUMBLERS. I collect them. I now have 12, lost 1, broken 1 and discerning to give away 1. in the span of 30 days i got new 4 tumblers- 2 collectors item ( manila and cebu), 1 do your own ( thank you small) and 1 classic star (thank you jayr). i am hoping to have more in the future.

SNEAKED OUT. yes i did and done it with style (for lack of better term). We are not really breaking rules (specially when they are silent). A long rough road walk under the 12 noon sun, uncomfortable habal-habal ride in an unfamiliar place all for the mouth watering da vinci’s pizza, sweet chocolates and my heart’s desire- starbucks mocha frap amidst kwentong buhay (drama at saya), risks and carefree moments and igat. hehehe it was really fun. i enjoyed it.
the aforementioned are just few of the beautiful stories treasured in my heart as i took the adventure of my life and fulfilled each item in my bucket list. i am grateful for the people who accompanied me and more for the opportunity that allowed them to happened. they were indeed perfect moments.

toink

2009-07-27T03:11:00.001-07:00

i know that before i came into your life you are already at the crossroads. if my presence adds on to the confusions and complications, i apologized. i did not planned to allow you to come too close into my life and nor did i envisioned to enter into your heart.
whatever it is that lies ahead choose the desire of your heart and embrace it. your happiness no matter what it takes is more than enough for me.

jeepney

2008-02-02T04:21:00.001-08:00

naoogma ako na sa istoryang ini ika an kaiba ko
minsan nang nagkasabatan, nagtinohan
parehas an padumanan pero magkaiba nin dalan
nag pustahan pa kun sisay an maeenot sa padudumanan
pero an mas maogma ako ta sa katapusan kaini kita nagkanumpungan
asin sabay na mabalik kun sain man naggikan.

spikes*

2008-01-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

isang pangarap na sapatos na minsan nang natagpuan
at minsan pang hinayaang palayain ang pagnanais
na ito ay maangkin at ariin...
isang simple ngunit makahulugang kwento, karanasan at aral--
hindi lahat ng ninais ay pwedeng makuha.

run

2007-10-29T23:37:00.000-07:00

in life there are many things we are running away from
for the reasons we think important
when we come to a point that we are so tired
that another step,
another breath
and another leap is a lifetime away.
we will be compelled to rest for a while
then sanity comes in
and reality sinks in
most of the times
it is the running thing that make us really tired
not the things we are running away from.

wildflower

2007-10-24T22:31:00.001-07:00

you exist unnoticed
you bloom unappreciated
yet the beauty in you
grows within
simple as it is
the true essence
of the wildflower...

libod

2007-10-15T18:52:00.000-07:00

libod is the place where you can have glimpse and pieces of miracles...
let it touch your heart and lead you to a wonderful feeling of joy
allow the little wonders of creation amidst ordinary things
be one of the reason for life's celebration...

soundless tunes

2007-09-24T05:15:00.000-07:00

i am sitting in front of the piano
but the pianist is not here...

the sight of a soundless piano is deafening me
for all I am hearing is the noise within...

it is hard to go through this transition but i'll make it...

one day the piano will make me happy again.
because i know a new melody is coming my way...

meanwhile, i'll let the soundless tunes play on

the piano and the pianist

2007-09-17T02:41:00.000-07:00

what a joy to hear a wonderful sound
what a bliss to listen to a beautiful song
i hate the piano
and
i hate the pianist.

i ask myself
is it fair?
is it right?

no

there is no reason to hate the piano
and it is not right to loathe the pianist
because no matter how melancholic the sound
and how sad the song
the piano and the pianist still capture my heart
and will always be.

I guess I detest the piano
and the pianist now
because of the bitter and broken me.